Tesla's long-delayed Cybertruck will be priced starting at $60,990, over 50% more than what CEO Elon Musk had touted in 2019 and a cost analysts have said will draw select, affluent buyers.
Unsurprisingly the Muskrat lied about everything else too
Inb4 Elon creates a combustion model to deflect the narrative, the carb is located in the gas tank so you’re getting extra diesel while you smoke that diesel cuz we heard you liked diesel, dawg.
Fun can come in surprising ways. Select your preferred fart style and target seat. Use your turn signal or press the left scroll wheel when you’re ready to “release” your prank. For those lucky vehicles equipped with a Pedestrian Warning System, you can choose to broadcast externally when your vehicle is parked. But wait-- the fun doesn’t stop there! Use the mobile app to conduct remote emissions testing by touching and holding any of the four quick control buttons and selecting the fart button.
I wonder what percentage of Tesla drivers follow this warning.
Warning
Use these features only when Model X is parked. Always pay attention to road and traffic conditions when driving. Using these features while driving is illegal and very dangerous.
I can imagine a couple guys in Tesla’s marketing department talking about it.
“Elon’s putting out a premium model at $69,420.”
“That sounds about right for his middle school mindset.”
“It has a WeedHolder and a SexButton among other features.”
“Really? Or did you make that up?”
“Yes.”
Sex mode would be what he calls the button that lays the seats all the way back.
A built in bong would rule. Just hope the low quality assurance didn’t miss it getting contaminated with exhaust.
“Dude, disconnect your bong! I told you not to buy an Elon Truck!”
“What are you talking about?”
“This morning a guy in LA took a big toke and his lungs caught on fire and he died a horrible death. He was Tiktoking at the time. It went viral.”
“That would be a serious quality control issue if in fact—”
“It sounds to me that you need to be deprogrammed.”
Inb4 Elon creates a combustion model to deflect the narrative, the carb is located in the gas tank so you’re getting extra diesel while you smoke that diesel cuz we heard you liked diesel, dawg.
That would be in keeping with all these HECKING EPIC features Teslas have: https://www.tesla.com/ownersmanual/modelx/en_us/GUID-79A49D40-A028-435B-A7F6-8E48846AB9E9.html
God fucking damn it.
This is from the mind of a 50 year old who many consider some kind of supergenius.
So it has a virtual whoopie cushion under each seat. I don’t even know anymore, man. I’m going to bed
I wonder what percentage of Tesla drivers follow this warning.