Found out we’re doing a mandatory active-shooter training at work. It’ll be “non interactive” which I guess means no fake guns or practice takedowns or whatever they do to scare people. At least one of my coworkers has already expressed adamant opposition to this, so I have at least one ally. I’d be more opposed if I were going to have fake guns pointed at me, but if it’s just sitting in a room listening to someone talk, I don’t mind being paid to listen to their bullshit. Anyway, beyond what I’ve said, I don’t know much about these trainings, so what are some funny ways I could derail it? Don’t hold back
“will the company cover funeral expenses?”
“has this ever been effective?”
“will you be issuing us rifles?”
“can the company buy us some plate carriers?”
“am i a soldier now? i don’t want to be a soldier :(”
“is this training a recognition of the company’s liability if we die”
I said something like this to a director who immediately turned around and said “but the training is so good!”