How do you guys deal with parenting? My wife had work events all weekend last week so I had to be on point 100% and then continue to all week. Now this weekend we had a girl scout hike and my wife wanted to go to a special event with me in the evening. I haven’t had time for any real solitude for two weeks and am mentally/emotionally drained.
How do you guys deal with this? I feel like a bad parent/partner for not being excited for these things or feelings negative about doing them. Am I expecting too much from myself? I don’t know, thanks for reading anyway.
It’s easy to feel bad about getting “exhausted” from quality time with loved ones, but keep telling yourself not to feel bad. Needs are needs, and neglecting them is irresponsible.
If you let yourself fall for the trap or just “pushing through” all the time, you will burnout and you will contract depression. The type of depression that sucks your life out so bad you may even lose the ability to notice something is wrong.
Make room for yourself where possible. Some things to consider:
2-4 hours alone time every evening after kids are in bed for a week. Set a deadline for when you are done coordinating the next day, discussing car maintenance, stop housework, etc. The series you are watching with your wife will have to wait.
It is not wrong to take a sick day from work when you are genuinely working to prevent breaking down.
Vacation days if nothing else works.
I’m a single dad and have been for a long time. My “me time” in the evening has always been essential. It’s sacred.
Thank you. I’m not the best at communicating my needs, especially mental needs, this is very helpful.
Seems like some great advice here.
I was in the same situation (also being bad at communicating mental needs). But eventually found the words to communicate it.
Took some time, but now my partner is even starting to recognize when I may need some time to myself and is much more accommodating.