Take your time , no rush. The world is a mess anyways , so just concentrate on nourishing yourself , whatever that might mean for you. I am glad you can at least find randos to communicate with on the internet :)

You’ll figure out , because you are telling us you want to and need to , maybe is just taking time. Anything you do or don’t do with that in mind is a step , even a tiny bity one , towards who are trying to be. Well tbh i really don’t know anything but at least I believe this for myself , just hope it helps. good luck and be well. From a rando on the internet