This whole system is purely designed to keep a few people in power and it is fucking insane. We wouldn’t even have the internet if a governmental institution hadn’t created it, because the free market deemed it unprofitable. How can we as a society achieve progress like that?
I am constantly surrounded by people that defend free market capitalism without questioning it nor having independent thoughts about it, even though they are not stupid. I feel constantly alienated because I have to discuss the most ridiculous thing with me peers when I try to show them the massive amount contradictions of this system, and they just reply that it does not work. Without having a single grasp of how politics work. I don’t mean to say that the general population is stupid, but it feels like they are constantly influenced by pro-capitalist information sources. I don’t know, I regularly question my beliefs and apply constructive criticism to my thoughts, but I always come to the same conclusion. Am I getting insane, or am I just to alienated?
While the other comrades suggestions are on point, I think it’s also important to understand reading and learning theory as more than an individual burden. It has been historically and is in many places still the prime opportunity for organization. If you can at all join a reading group or organize one yourself, it’s by far the best thing you can do for your development as a communist and revolutionary. It’s more fun, better for learning anyway and will naturally bring up discussions around applying that theory into praxis.