I don’t ever really see myself having a decent job. FFS feels like Its off the table.

  • EsheLynn@lemmy.blahaj.zone
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    19
    ·
    1 year ago

    Well, I guess first I’m going to see what HRT does for me before I consider surgery. I know it cant help my bone structure, but I usually don’t let people under my skin and muscles anyways.

    You know that later Mae Dean comic where she’s talking to her doctor and her goal is “this, but girl?” That’s my objective. Make my body feel right.

    Also, stop looking in the mirror. Stop taking selfies.

    Just be. Take a week, breathe, and exist without worrying how “girly you look,” or w/e.

    Stop being so hyper critical of yourself. I get it, okay? People keep telling me they love my energy, or I have a great smile. I can read between the lines. But that’s just it tho. If you emit positivity, people will want to be around that. Stop hating yourself cuz you don’t look like Kate Upton. Neither do I. Surely you don’t think I should hate myself too?

    I dunno, I just think I get enough hate from my own mother and brother, and myself in the form of my depression, that I don’t like engaging it. I understand and acknowledge my depression. And I try to separate the depression bullshit from myself.

    Ya, I have dysphoria. I hate myself. But if all I do is reflect on that, nothing gets done and I hate myself more. You may not feel you love yourself, but goddammit, try.