“Hey what’s up mother fucker!? You wanna go to margaritaville and get shitfaced!?” I stammer, “Uh, yea FUCKING CLAP THEM CHEEKS BITCH ASS TITTY HOE! Can you come pick me up like right now? FUCK !!!” Matilda yells in a shout, “On my way bitch!”

I hung up the phone and began to wait for her. SHIT!! I went into my closet and picked out a prom dress to wear FUCK!

As I put on THE FUCKING GOD DAM DRESS! I realized…