While I have my favorites, I’m usually not one to comment on or review beer. But I saw these two lonely cans in the 50 cent bin down at Halloran’s Hooch House and figured I’d take the chance. Always up for trying something new that at least purports to qualify as beer.

I let it sit for 24hrs plus in the fridge, expecting each can to have been drop-kicked across the store several times if for no reason other than sheer spite that the owner had bought a case and couldn’t sell it.

On carefully opening the first one, I momentarily wondered if I was on an episode of that practical joke show and they’d replaced my beer with a fire extinguisher. At least an ounce lost to the excess foam, not that I shed a tear for those drops.

In a blind taste test, I’d have seriously questioned how the word “beer” was being defined.

The overall experience, I’d rate a 0/10 - both cans were hell-bent on extinguishing non-existent fires. But with proper warning (clearly marked 3.0% ABV and low calorie), it’s actually not terrible.

The kind of “not terrible” when a Pepsi drinker gets a Coke foisted on them by a clueless host; Far less offensive to one’s sensibilities than when some fool tries to pawn off a diet soda as a real one.

Won’t be seeking these out in the future, though the rest of their lineup is quite solid and enjoyable.

When I was twenty-one, and had to drive home from the bar, I grabbed an O’Doul’s waiting for my friends. This was definitely more enjoyable, the only question is by how much.