"The corporate cure is always the same—lay off workers," said one critic. "Stock buybacks and layoffs are joined at the hip. It's time they were outlawed entirely."
Executives report that they have finally finished the number crunching that has been the topic of discussion for weeks now regarding the new budget changes. One board member told us “The nerds in accounting kept complaining about how many expense reports we’ve been sending lately. After looking into it, we’ve found a rapid uptick in hitman related expenditure.” Confirming recent suspicions that vendors did take note of the recent demand increases and decided on a market adjustment industry-wide. Our source did not confirm that these new layoffs were due to the investigation results, but inside rumor is saying that’s the case.