They smelled like beans and mushrooms and when I shook their hand they gave me a small rat and told me it was “one for the road”.
They had green skin like a goblin and had a shirt that said “Xi is my god”.
I didn’t feel safe. Be careful out there, and lock your doors too because I hear they steal your passive income.
I met a hexbear once. They were making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me and the baby called me a liberal.
based baby
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I met that same hex bear, but it only screeched at me and yacked up an owl pellet, now I can’t even read someone’s pronouns without getting triggered.
I actually have a pocket full of rats looking for side kicks and I help them find plucky humans to take under their wing.
This was me. You met me.
Aaaaaa nooo I don’t want my pre-transition life knowwwwnnnnn
Oh no. I am so sorry comrat
The people will know of my bloody struggle 💪
Can we meet? I need another rat to help me think of ways to takeover the world.
The humans had their chance muhahahaha
I for one accept our rat overlords. I’m just saying, I can be of use!!
You will be spared 🫂
Hi, do you have a moment to talk about our lord and saviour?
spoiler
My passive income, no!
DO NOT DO THIS
I learnt the hard way. The rat they gave me ate every bean in my house
I’ll take a rat over a snitch
You’re saying I DESERVED to be bean ratted?!
Hexbears revealing their HORRIFIC TROLLING METHODS
I unabashedly denounce meeting irl, I care for a lot of you but trust few. This site’s history is pockmarked with bad actors, and dedicated ones at that. Just the nature of the internet, don’t cross the streams etc
I’ll stick to merely supplanting social interaction rather than try actualising it.
Also
(for real folks It’s like internet rule 1 to never meet irl, too many creepys out there.)
(sorry for your rat)
This rat over here eatin’ beans!
the hexbears turned me into a newt
I’m glad you got better.
It was me, I sold your apes!
But not my Slurpjuice
And my axe.
What’s the going rate now?
Is it 3 apes + a slurpjuice gets you laid or is that wishful thinking by them?
One of them randomly handed me a folded up sheet of paper with :PIGPOOPBALLS: on it on the bus
I’m using this as a copy pasta now. This had me fucking rolling.
They smelled like beans and mushrooms and when I shook their hand they gave me a small rat and told me it was “one for the road”.
Stop making leftists sound cool.
I thought I met one once, turned out it was just a grizzly that had been cursed.
Xi is my God, so what?
I heard they all smell like owl piss.
At least they did not come at you with a comically large spoon
