• Jayjader@jlai.lu
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    12 days ago

    So, a few things:

    • many of the men accused have stated that the husband pitched the idea as “this is a kink she really enjoys, being drugged and then having sex with strangers”. (Of course they never pretend to have met her in person beforehand to get her consent for the whole thing in the first place)
    • there are some that have said “what’s the big deal? It’s his wife, he gets to decide to lend her out to his friends.” (!)

    I don’t know how many of the first group are being honest, but the existence of both can give you an idea of how bad our culture used to be towards rape, and still is to a large extent.

    There’s a pretty striking moment of archival footage, from the 60s or 70s I think, of some french dude being asked in the street “and you, have you ever raped a woman?” And his response is a very matter-of-fact “well, of course!”.

    People don’t want to believe that rapists are, in many ways, just ordinary people. So they both refuse to see it in others, and refuse to see themselves as capable of even contributing to the problem. Hopefully this can be the wakeup call many men here in France need to realize they must push back when their friends make rape jokes, for ex.

    • xor
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      12 days ago

      i’m sure the first one was the plausible deniability the husband set up… but still if they never met her beforehand, there’s no way they can pretend like they thought is was consensual….
      and even if it was, i can’t imagine anyone who isn’t at least a latent rapist would go through with that….
      i hate to “kink shame” but serial killers often start off with “consensual non consent” and bdsm… if that really gets you off and you indulge in it, there’s a very thin line between that person and an actual predator.

      like, some of that stuff is perfectly fine, but the idea of meeting a man with a drugged unconscious woman and just taking his word that everything is fine and with her knowing, is just absurd…
      ….
      i do hope that rape jokes will go the way of racist jokes… i mean, they usually aren’t considered acceptable…