One time a girl invited me to sleep with her, and I looked at her filthy pillowcases and bullshitted my way into sleeping on her couch, after countering her insistence with the extreme option of “if you’re not gonna let me sleep on your couch, I’m going home.”
I thought she literally meant actual sleep, and what she wanted was sex.
I slept on her couch and she sobbed softly
through a closed door.
I found out about a decade later, from a mutual friend, that girl had the biggest hots for me and was gonna stop at nothing to fuck me.
Well, she was stopped by my obliviousness.
I was ace and sex-repulsed even back then, so even if I had figured her out, I prolly would have had a small panic attack and tried to go home.
I once lost interest in a girl because she said was into this new cartoon “South Park” which I thought was stupid despite never having watched it. Years later I actually watched it and realized it wasn’t stupid at all. Sometimes the real treasure was the utter stupidity you made along the way.
Yup. The first one I remember is a concert where I went to see the opener and didn’t much care for the main act. While I was on the floor during the opening act, I was next to a girl who seemed similarly enthused about that band. We definitely both noticed each other fangirling over this relatively unknown opening act. Then, afterward, I bumped into her on the balcony while the main act was playing, and she’s like “these guys kinda suck right? I think I’m gonna head out and get a drink at $nearby_bar”. And I totally missed the hint.
This is the great thing about getting old. Eventually you realize that the girl you missed out on the obvious thing with is now just as leathery and swollen as you are.
Basically this girl at work would come talk to me for no reason sometimes and I never really thought anything of it. One time she went to get coffee on her break and brought me some hot chocolate. One time she showed me gym pictures on her phone of I guess how good her booty looked from working out or whatever. I thought this was weird but she did indeed have a nice ass, I just didn’t want people to think I’m a weirdo so to me it was cringe as fuck. I think she straight up asked me out at least once but I remember always turning her down. One time she asked me if I wanted to go to an escape room with her and I turned her down because this would’ve involved driving across town in 5pm traffic, fuck that.
Adhd drugs are a hell of a drug. Looking back, she was kind of my type. I have so many more stories like this and they’re all just as cringe. I can’t help but wonder how my life would be different today if I hadn’t have spent my entire life so far fucking up every potential relationship.
When I was 19, a girl told me at a party that I was the coolest guy in school. I was just flattered by the compliment and when I told my girlfriend about it later she said “Yeah she was totally hitting on you”.
I was like “Nah! Her? No way!”
Years later, I randomly thought about it and went “oh my god, she was hitting on me!”
I think the “oh, fuck, that was an invitation!” moment several minutes/hours after the fact is one of the most universal moments.
Years.
Lifetimes. Because I haven’t had it yet…
(ok maybe I would if I talked to women in the first place)
One time a girl invited me to sleep with her, and I looked at her filthy pillowcases and bullshitted my way into sleeping on her couch, after countering her insistence with the extreme option of “if you’re not gonna let me sleep on your couch, I’m going home.”
I thought she literally meant actual sleep, and what she wanted was sex.
I slept on her couch and she sobbed softly through a closed door.
I found out about a decade later, from a mutual friend, that girl had the biggest hots for me and was gonna stop at nothing to fuck me.
Well, she was stopped by my obliviousness.
I was ace and sex-repulsed even back then, so even if I had figured her out, I prolly would have had a small panic attack and tried to go home.
except for cleaning her pillow case, apparently, lol
honestly if her pillowcases actually weren’t clean, that’s on her lol
Everyone knows you change the sheets and clean the bathroom if you’re having company.
or at least keep things remotely clean for yourself and in case you get unexpected company
I once lost interest in a girl because she said was into this new cartoon “South Park” which I thought was stupid despite never having watched it. Years later I actually watched it and realized it wasn’t stupid at all. Sometimes the real treasure was the utter stupidity you made along the way.
Yup. The first one I remember is a concert where I went to see the opener and didn’t much care for the main act. While I was on the floor during the opening act, I was next to a girl who seemed similarly enthused about that band. We definitely both noticed each other fangirling over this relatively unknown opening act. Then, afterward, I bumped into her on the balcony while the main act was playing, and she’s like “these guys kinda suck right? I think I’m gonna head out and get a drink at $nearby_bar”. And I totally missed the hint.
why can’t they just add a “wanna join me” to make it more clear lol
Right? They are terrible at flirting.
I just now realized this girl may have been interested in me 11 years ago. Later virgins.
Is it too late to make a move?
nahh bro go for it
This is the great thing about getting old. Eventually you realize that the girl you missed out on the obvious thing with is now just as leathery and swollen as you are.
storytime? 🥺
Basically this girl at work would come talk to me for no reason sometimes and I never really thought anything of it. One time she went to get coffee on her break and brought me some hot chocolate. One time she showed me gym pictures on her phone of I guess how good her booty looked from working out or whatever. I thought this was weird but she did indeed have a nice ass, I just didn’t want people to think I’m a weirdo so to me it was cringe as fuck. I think she straight up asked me out at least once but I remember always turning her down. One time she asked me if I wanted to go to an escape room with her and I turned her down because this would’ve involved driving across town in 5pm traffic, fuck that.
Adhd drugs are a hell of a drug. Looking back, she was kind of my type. I have so many more stories like this and they’re all just as cringe. I can’t help but wonder how my life would be different today if I hadn’t have spent my entire life so far fucking up every potential relationship.
WOO! STORYTIME 🤩
When I was 19, a girl told me at a party that I was the coolest guy in school. I was just flattered by the compliment and when I told my girlfriend about it later she said “Yeah she was totally hitting on you”.
I was like “Nah! Her? No way!”
Years later, I randomly thought about it and went “oh my god, she was hitting on me!”