So it looks like we’re actually giving answers in the comments. Y’know, other that the correct one about attacking corporate competitors from their undefended rear.

The big issue is that they eat a lot of stuff, do poorly in my local climate and can become aggressive if male. Most likely I’d be forced to put it down. At that point, I could make it into a salable amount of biltong I guess. Loaning it permanently was also mentioned, but I think the spirit of the question is that I personally have to deal with it.