Nice, sounds like they came from a not shitty family
Reminds me of love languages, which is a concept that has stuck around in my head a lot longer than I would have expected.
Owning cats helped me realize love is not simply words. Every cat I had showed their affection towards me differently, but i could still recognize it the same.
I wish. One of my kids actually interacts with me without prompting, the others not so much… My wife acknowledges me first about once a quarter. My extended family notices me once a year or less! I haven’t had friends invite me first to anything in so long, it’s always me inviting them. At least my dog acknowledges me on a frequent basis.
Good for op, but I have none of that.
Unfortunately I can relate.
I’m sorry. :(
Hell yeah that is the weekend energy I’m vibing. Than kyou Facelikeapotato.
Cool.
I haven’t had a hug in 13 years.
Last gift I got given was 5 years ago when homeless and begging for food. Someone gave me a sandwich with dog shit in it.
No one does anything for me. Ever.
I’m going to go cry and contemplate suicide again.
I’m sorry to hear that. You deserve as much as anyone, you’re not unlovable. I wish I could help you, but I’m not too good at this, or knowing what to say.
I’ve been suicidal before, and while I haven’t experienced anything like that, I can assure you that life changes for the better for people all the time, even if it doesn’t seem like it will. You’re not stuck. There’s a lot of coldness in this world, but there’s also people you can meet if you put yourself out there. The other comment you got was sort of toxic, but they’re right in that if you put effort in it doesn’t have to be like that.
I’d also recommend looking for community resources, local counselors, and maybe using a texting crisis line, like this. Idk about lemmy but there’s also probably a lot of productive mental health forums you can find all over the internet, for people with similar experiences that might be able to help you out better.
I’d also recommend looking for community resources, local counselors, and maybe using a texting crisis line, like this.
I’m on waiting lists. No one funds these programs where I’m from because no one cares. Moreover, i’ve yet to meet someone in my position who hasn’t gone looking for resources like that. We aren’t just sitting here stewing in discontent for fun. I don’t want to be like this. I just… don’t have any options anymore.
I can assure you that life changes for the better for people all the time, even if it doesn’t seem like it will.
#An utterly bold faced fucking lie.
Here’s a tip. Don’t ever assure someone in a bad position that it’ll get better. First off, you literally cannot assure it. Unless you’re going to be the one to fix the situation yourself then there is nothing you can do that will change the situation. What you’ve now done is lie to the person you’re trying to help. A lie that you feel is useful because either you believe that it will get better or that you’re only saying it to pat yourself on the back to say you helped.
Second, if the things causing the person to be in that position are out of their reach, and out of your reach, then you’re instilling false hope. That shit is dangerous and often more destructive than never saying anything at all. You start hoping that it’ll happen until that hope collapses, yet again, and drives you further deeper than you ever have been.
I am 31 years old. I have never been happy. I was abused in every way but sexual by my family until I was 14. They then found out I was gay and told everyone in my family and everyone they worked with. They outed me to everyone I knew. I went to school two days later and everyone knew I was gay because those people my mother worked with told their kids who were my friends. I then got shoved into foster care where I was neglected and ignored so the family could use me to draw in a paycheque from the government. After that I was sent into a care program to ‘help at risk youth’. Didn’t help so much as just cover basic bills until I was 18 and then suddenly drop me and say “cope”. I ended up working myself to a mental breakdown at a call center. I was going to kill myself until my best friend said to move in with him on the opposite side of the country and start over. We lived together years before in a group home so why not. He ended up using me and abusing me, stealing from me and forcing me to do his work so he could stay home and be paid. I tried to kill myself. The doctor at the hospital said I should have done a better job. They kept me for a day before releasing me. No meds. No shrink. No nothing. Just get out. When I got home, my friend asked why he had to do the dishes himself last night. I walked away and became homeless for 5-6 years, literally walking across the entire country to get to a different place and start over. I’ve been isolated here ever since. There were no support programs where I left and there are none here. I am physically disabled due to lifelong issues that got exacerbated when homeless so now I can’t even walk or stand properly without extreme pain. I’m on disability due to this but I get less than minimum wage and am expected to pay for bills, medication, transportation, clothing, hygiene supplies and rent with it. This is impossible and due to it I haven’t eaten in days because I can’t afford food for the entire month. Food bank? Nah. That’s not gonna happen because the “interest rates” have gone up and caused psychotic amounts of corporate greed so food is unaffordable to people on minimum wage, extortion for people on disability. I am literally talking with my doctor about applied for medically assisted euthanasia because nothing in my life has ever given me an iota of happiness. Nothing has ever allowed for me to breathe. I am completely alone with no one to rely on, no one to talk to, no one who would even notice if I died.
So don’t you dare fucking tell me that it will get better when my entire life it has gotten consistently worse. People like you for decades have been telling me that “It gets better” only to fuck off to your own lives and whistle thinking that you did some good when the only thing you did was prove to me that people lie more than they tell the truth and don’t actually give a shit.
Your opening line in the comment was perfect. It showed compassion and empathy. Didn’t promise anything. Didn’t lie. Didn’t misunderstand what I’m dealing with or presume anything. Please stick with stuff like that instead of trying to instill hope in barren soil.
Ok, I would recommend texting lines and other online services instead of a counselor. I also think finding productive forums for this could help you out (places with actual support, not places that will make you feel worse).
Don’t ever assure someone in a bad position that it’ll get better.
I didn’t though. I said “life changes for the better for people all the time,” even people in extreme lifelong conditions like yours. I didn’t assure you anything will get better. I just meant it’s possible and attainable if you work towards it. That might be hard in your current state, but I don’t think it’s impossible. There’s a ton of good people out there. I’d hug you right now if I could.
Disability programs in the US are fucking criminal and support programs are actively being dismantled everywhere I look around me. If you need to vent, I’m an open pair of ears.
My mother is from the old country and if she feeds you, that’s how she says I love you.
Thanks, I needed to read that today. I hope you have a great weekend!
Thanks, you too Satan!
that’s a wholesome post but it also sounds in healthy and repressed. the world doesn’t end if y’all say i love you to your family members once in a while
Everyone has a different love language. Some say it and some prefer to show it in other ways.
I am here for all of this. We all love, and most of us are bad at saying it. We can give. We can say it. I love so many people. Tell them. Really tell them. It is more freeing than it is free to say.
I don’t want gifts and it annoys me when I get them because you’re just receiving an obligation to work out what the giver likes when it’s their birthday or Christmas.
What an awful way to view gift giving.
I don’t ever expect reciprocation when I give a gift. That’s the entire point of a gift. We’re not bartering.
Then congratulations on having a healthy childhood. I sure as hell didn’t. For me I will only ever see it as an obligation. My mother used them as ways to control me. Now I just don’t like getting gifts because it makes me think that person is going to hurt me.
I mean… that still sounds awful. Just through no fault of your own. Which is arguably worse. Or at least more sympathetic.
Yeah that’s all I mean. Not everyone purposefully views gift giving like that. I had to do so as a simple defense mechanism.
Yeah I used to get shamed for not buying presents when I was a teenager and didn’t have a job and I find it really mentally taxing to figure out what to buy people… people who are good gift givers are capable of doing so without it hurting themselves financially too much imo. when I had a job I found myself over compensating by buying people expensive electronics which wasn’t sustainable if I was going to save up and move out so the whole thing just stresses me out.
Just out of curiosity would you still buy someone gifts if you knew they didn’t like receiving them?
Short answer is “no”. I don’t want to make people uncomfortable and won’t foist gifts onto them that they don’t want. It can be nuanced though, depending on the person and situation. Some gifts are better received than others. Some might not even be perceived as gifts.
Shoutout to the one user who downvoted this very wholesome content. You ok buddy?
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