• hdnclr@beehaw.org
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    1 year ago

    Yes, kind of. However, I was raised Pentecostal and strictly conservative, and have lingering religious trauma that I’m working through. For a while (from my teens through my mid-twenties) I described myself as atheist. However, I got into witchcraft and the occult a few years ago as kind of a time-waster hobby, not really sincerely believing in it at first but just having fun with it, and that grew into learning about other religions and becoming genuinely curious about spirituality and religion. Now I’d describe myself as a Unitarian Universalist. I’ve still never been to a Unitarian Universalist church in-person because there’s not one near me, but I attend online stuff occasionally and whole-heartedly love the way they do religion. And I feel welcomed there despite all of the things that would have gotten me dirty looks at any of the churches I grew up in. In terms of belief, I’d say I’m agnostic and I like to “put on” and “take off” beliefs (or “suspend disbelief”), which I got from doing chaos magic. I think magic and ritual helps me organize and make sense of my mind more than anything else… if anything, just having a meditation and journaling habit has helped my mental health, especially since i re-started those habits after starting my gender transition. And yeah, it also maybe helps with everything else gestures to the world at large

    And yeah, I just realized this is the most I’ve talked about my spirituality to anyone since going down this road. One of my big things is that my spirituality is a very personal thing and I keep it mostly to myself. Nothing against people who proselytize (I’ve come to understand and forgive people who sincerely believe they’re saving my life by “ministering” to me, like some of my older relatives who genuinely care about me and who are probably happy to hear me say “yeah, I’m kind of getting into a church now”) but I don’t feel compelled to tell people about my shit because I definitely have no answers. That’s my whole thing, I have no answers. I’m just kind of reading everything and trying everything, for no purpose other than to just understand people and myself a little better. And maybe it works for me, but I also know folks who definitely don’t want or need religion and that is 1000% okay, and I hope I don’t disturb them. So I only really speak of my stuff when people ask.