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For anyone reading this.
From personal experience, have a shower daily, go for a walk, even if it’s only to the end of your garden or street and drink plenty of water. Sleep if you need to.
This won’t fix things, but it will give you an opportunity to give yourself a break.
In my experience, beating yourself up about everything you suck at is the single biggest thing that made it worse for me.
Finally, talk to someone, anyone. In the street, at the bus, at work, friends, family, online, anyone.
This too will pass.
Yes.
That’s the list of things I know I should be doing but can’t.I have been there.
It’s not a fun place.
In my experience the thing that gets everything else going is going for a walk. Start small. Walk to your front door and open it. Next time do it again. Perhaps take a step outside. Do it again. Then two steps, closing the door behind you - bring your keys!
The idea is to do something slightly bigger than before, but not so much that you are exhausted or afraid to try again.
The only one who is going to change anything is you, harness your energy and have a crack. Nobody is watching so no need to be ashamed.
Have at it.
I get that you’re trying to be uplifting and motivating and whatnot but executive distinction making it quite literally impossible to motivate myself to get up and take those first few steps is the problem here.
for me, the most important part is not shaming myself. if I could be doing any better I would
That’s a good mentality. I will start using that, thanks!
Your the elf that wanted to be a dentist!
Then don’t do all of it. I like to break my to-do list down to the smallest, actionable step? Usually it’s just a shower, but it helps me hate myself less.
I wished i had a garden
Thank you, I needed this.
There is a book called “Tiny Habits” by BJ Fogg. He invented most of the techniques companies like Meta use to manipulate you and me.
In the book, he explains how to use the same techniques to control your own behavior.
I personally am in much better physical and mental state since I read it.
You cannot beat yourself up until you improve. It does not work. It is a myth.
Is the book and its methods intended for neurodivergent people? If not, it is important to be aware that it may have limited use to people with ADHD as our dopamine signaling in the executive function parts of our prefrontal cortex is all kinds of fucked.
That said, I’m ecstatic to read that you found it helpful and really appreciate your correct characterization of one of the maladaptive coping mechanisms that we often try to use.
I think when it comes to exploitation by corporate interest, having ADHD makes you 10x more vulnerable.
And 10x more likely to benefit from learning about what is being used against you and how you can use it in your favor.
I can’t focus enough to read a book and of I try hard enough I fall asleep after page two. Guess it’s not for me.
I did the Audible
Thanks I will try it when I can afford it. I just put it on my wishlist.
If you live in the states, Libby is a lifesaver. It’s an online audiobook thing for libraries. You can use your library card to check out audiobooks through the app. And if you’re unable to use Libby for some reason, I’ve heard mobilism has a lot of audiobooks for free
Yes. I tell anyone I can at work about the public library and how you can use Libby or Hoopla to get free books. Some audio books for those not wanting to read. It is a great asset.
Not in the States but thanks for sharing anyway, it may help others.
You are literally who internet piracy is for my friend
Go duplicate some digits
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=uTawbZA7odY
Yarrr, I mean really not, but it’s freeWhoops that’s just an interview with the author, though may be useful to some, I shall keep looking.
Audiobooks.com has a 30 day free trial, and this is one of the books they have, but still not good enough…
Bookey.com also has a free trial and this audiobook. I’m failing here as a pirate. Unfortunately, I haven’t pirated any audiobooks so I don’t know where to look
i take it you tried the archive? There’s usually a rouge upload on there somewhere, if not, some torrenting or filesharing service WILL have it, though it’s less accessible to the average person.
If you don’t mind sailing the high seas, you can download the audiobook from https://rargb.to/ for free.
My eyes read while my brain thinks of other things.
Oh does it ever.
Try speed reading. Like faster than is comfortable. I was the same way til I realized my casual reading pace is too slow to keep me interested. I still struggle to get interested but once I am, zooooom
Being interested is not my problem, the more I want to read something the harder it is to not drift in my mind and have to restart a few lines before. And after a few pages I just start to nod and fall asleep. It’s hard to describe. The worst is even if I power through a book I can’t remember it the next day. Some events might bring back part of the story in my mind but it’s never enough to even make a quote. It’s the same for movies although I dont fall asleep I can’t remember it the next day. I hate that, and it’s not like I have no memory at all I will remember stupid shit other did or where they left stuff etc but the more I need or want to remember something the more I risk forgetting.
Yeah, that’s what I’m talking about. It’s harder to drift if you can fully saturate your thoughts with the book. The moments where your brain already understands where a sentence is going, that’s when it gets bored and starts thinking of something else while your reading speed catches up. This made a huge difference for me and counterintuitively it significantly improved my reading comprehension and reduced those moments of getting to the bottom of the page, not knowing what you just read. It’s like a disconnect between reading the words and processing them. It also just makes it less tedious to reread a section, since you’re blasting through it so much faster. Seriously, give it a shot.
There’s speed reading apps that will flash the words at a faster pace so you have to keep up. Just bump up the speed til it’s a little uncomfortable.
I have been reading out loud to myself for a few years.
It is slower, but it really adds to your active vocabulary. And actually my reading articulation out loud has increased manifold. And it keeps my interest.
Great! You just found your way to fall asleep instantly! Use it to get some more sleep in general :p
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Fuck off, you think you know me ? You would have not made it having been through half of my life. I keep fighting in hopes that things get better and KNOW my shortcomings. If you think I haven’t tried reading books you are way off track. I have had a huge collection of books and LOVED reading but the fact is it takes me over a year to read a normal book as I fall asleep after two pages and have to reread every line multiple times and of course I don’t remember the line I just read but you think that everyone is the way you are and assume. I guess you think I’m a lazy fuck who never tries anything to get better do you ? Fuck off and goodbye!
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Everything about you screams main character syndrome.
Yeah, that’s fair. What did I say which was incorrect, though?
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The only possible reason you’d be this triggered by a stranger is that you see yourself in them and you don’t like what you see, so I recommend you start by taking your own advice.
That’s very fair! And you aren’t entirely wrong. I’ll try to learn something from this, but I think the best way to learn is by challenging.
You had the option to be constructive without being cruel or act like an ass, and you chose ass. Why?
Yes, I was cruel. No, I don’t think I was an ass. I think I was constructive. Why do you think differently?
I guess I asked wrong, let’s say that you were constructive. Why did you choose to be cruel?
Good question. I can’t answer that. I probably should’ve been nicer.
Making assumptions about the way other people feel or think is unproductive and unnecessary. Maybe you want them to be mad, to fight back, but you’re just some words on a screen right now, so it only comes off as being an asshole.
If you can’t build yourself up without tearing others down, you’re an ass.
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Here is a large language model generated summary:
“Tiny Habits: The Small Changes That Change Everything” by BJ Fogg explores how small behavioral changes can lead to significant transformations in one’s life. Fogg, a behavior scientist, introduces a method for creating lasting habits by making them tiny and easy to accomplish.
Key Points:
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Behavior Model:
- B = MAP: Behavior (B) happens when Motivation (M), Ability (A), and a Prompt (P) converge at the same moment. To change behavior, adjust these three elements.
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Tiny Habit Recipe:
- Identify a tiny behavior you want to incorporate into your routine.
- Attach this new behavior to an existing routine (Anchor).
- Celebrate immediately after doing the behavior to create positive reinforcement.
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Focus on Small Changes:
- Instead of making drastic changes, Fogg advocates for starting with tiny, manageable actions. Over time, these small actions accumulate and lead to significant changes.
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Celebration:
- A crucial part of the Tiny Habits method is celebrating your success, no matter how small. This positive reinforcement encourages repetition and helps solidify the new habit.
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Ability and Simplicity:
- Simplifying the desired behavior increases the likelihood of success. If something feels too difficult, break it down into even smaller steps.
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Motivation:
- While motivation can fluctuate, designing tiny habits that fit easily into your routine helps ensure consistency, regardless of your motivation levels.
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Behavior Design:
- Fogg provides a systematic approach to designing behaviors that stick, emphasizing experimentation and iteration to find what works best for the individual.
By focusing on tiny, achievable changes and celebrating small wins, Fogg’s method aims to make habit formation easier and more sustainable.
This is awesome, thank you so much!
Can you share the method you used (model/prompt)?
“Summarize Tiny Habits by BJ Fogg” on the free version of ChatGPT (3.5 I believe).
Oh, i thought you had to pass the book to a model, bit it seems like the book has already been ingested by them during training.
Just for interest, this is the latest model chatgpt 4o, seems to have focussed more on the emotions and the simplicity.
“Tiny Habits: The Small Changes That Change Everything” by BJ Fogg is a practical guide that explains how to make lasting changes in behavior by starting small. The core idea is that by focusing on tiny, manageable habits, individuals can create significant and sustainable changes in their lives.
Key Concepts:
-
Behavior Design Framework: Fogg introduces the Behavior Model, which asserts that behavior is a result of motivation, ability, and prompts converging at the same moment. For a behavior to occur, there must be sufficient motivation, the ability to perform the behavior, and a prompt to trigger it.
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Start Small: To create lasting habits, start with tiny behaviors that are easy to do, such as flossing one tooth or doing two push-ups. This minimizes resistance and makes it easier to maintain consistency.
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Anchor New Habits: Attach new habits to existing routines. For instance, after brushing your teeth (an existing habit), perform a tiny habit like flossing one tooth. This linkage helps in remembering and performing the new habit.
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Celebrate Successes: Immediately celebrate after completing a tiny habit, no matter how small it is. This positive reinforcement helps wire the new behavior into your brain, making it more likely to stick.
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Iterate and Expand: Once the tiny habit is established, gradually increase its complexity or add new tiny habits. This approach allows for scaling up behavior change in a manageable way.
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Focus on Positive Emotions: Fogg emphasizes the importance of feeling good during and after performing the habit. Positive emotions reinforce the habit, making it more likely to become automatic over time.
Practical Applications:
- Habit Stacking: Create chains of tiny habits that build on each other throughout the day.
- Behavior Swapping: Replace unwanted behaviors with positive tiny habits.
- Tiny Habit Recipes: Develop specific, actionable plans for incorporating tiny habits into daily life.
By following these principles, Fogg argues that individuals can create powerful, lasting changes in their behavior without relying on sheer willpower or motivation alone.
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I’ve heard of atomic habits before. Is this different?
I hope so. I read atomic habits and it fed into my delusions of grandeur but nothing stuck. I don’t think it was written for us
You mean like having movers coming in a few weeks but not getting off my ass for the past five days to start putting my life into boxes to move halfway across the country? Cuz it feels like you might be referring to my having movers coming in a few weeks but me not getting off my ass for the past five days to start putting my life into boxes to move halfway across the country.
Don’t worry, you’ll knock it all out in a single day literally hours before they arrive.
Lol I didn’t last time and had to hire a second set of movers. And those second motherfuckers stole my cell phone.
hi i just moved today it sucks and you’ll probably do a lot of things last minute but YOU GOT THIS HOMIE
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absolutely me this week … month
The last like 3 years for me
Right? It’s like COVID laid bare all the injustices and bullshit of our society and social structures and all but destroyed any motivation to accomplish anything that I had. Things just seemed pointless cause the old myths are fucking lies and I’m tired of killing myself for others during the prime years of my life.
What do you do when your apathy is due, in part, to the world being a cesspool where a few have the most? It really sucks.
Darn. I’m reading this on the day that I stayed home instead of heading to the gym. I should try to go tomorrow instead of skipping entirely through.
Yes. You got this, bud!
You “will try” tomorrow.
Take the word “should” out of your vocabulary for the most part, especially with self-talk. It’s often not useful.
The hardest weight to lift at the gym is the one you bring with you.
Hey.
You know what?
The only use those types of thoughts have in anyone’s life, is to remind you of something you value completing.
Thats it. Once you’ve had the thought, let the next thought follow just be - Yup.
Maybe you do it, maybe not. But putting that pressure on yourself isn’t serving the purpose of doing that thing, in fact, it almost always does the opposite.
So yes, Ideally, we’d have no motivation other than feeling the need to do a thing simply because its what need to do.
But its not like that, for anyone. Stop being so expectant of yourself, and instead just expect that kind of thought to come up, and then wave at it, and let it pass on by.
Does that only happens to people with ADHD? Because the post is literally me and I’ve never asked to a doctor about this.
A lot of symptoms of ADHD happen to the general population as well, but in people with ADHD they may happen at such frequency and/or intensity that they become debilitating in the current system.
For the last 2 months I started to consider about going to a doctor because I cannot know if my inability to keep doing tasks or focus on them is because of the enviroment at my home is being harmful to my mind health or if I could have ADHD or similar. Maybe it’s the moment to do it, but it doesn’t feel confortable for me to ask a doctor.
Could be depression,100% talk to a doctor/professional, reach out for help.
Those are also symptoms of depression. Either way, If you regularly feel that way, try to talk to a doctor or support groups to try to get help.
What the others said, if possible, go see a doctor. I have depression but I’m subscribed to this channel because it’s interesting for me to learn about symptoms and ideas how others deal or cope with them. ADHD and depression share many similarities. ( I will definitively try to learn from the mentioned book tiny habits) I went to a doctor when I felt really really bad. But it was one of the best decisions I have ever made, because I got a treatment and can even go to a therapy. And if you shouldn’t suffer from ADHD or depression - even better!
Every friggin day
Posture. I know my posture is bad and remind myself to straighten up…ten seconds later I’m slouched on an elbow.
I can relate. I took the arms off my office chair so I couldn’t lean on them. Now I lean on my desk.
Me all the time, but after getting medicated it’s a little less overwhelming and I can better calm down about it and slowly chew through the lists of stuff that needs to be done… Slowly… But any progress is better than no progress at all so I’ll take it as a massive win.
Erryday
Are this and atomic habits related, or different strategies?
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No I don’t. And when I think of those things they are considered negative. Despite my own thoughts never feeling normal or normative. Despite the fact that I never have a societal norm that keeps me going… I instead find my own norm and keep going… it’s weird I never seek to pull society down I try to move up…
I don’t really agree with this post, but I’m trying to move forward so who knows…
