• @HKPiax@lemmy.world
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    13010 months ago

    The second you hit pose #3 you’re getting your guts kicked out of your asshole by the roo’s legs. This guide is absolute rubbish, complete malarkey, total squirrel’s piss.

    • @mrbonejangles@lemm.ee
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      5310 months ago

      If you are lucky he kicks your guts out of your asshole. More likely the roo will probably just rake his legs down your torso and straight up disembowels you from the front while holding you in position. Agree this guide is complete squirrels piss.

        • @glowieOP
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          910 months ago

          Crazy it’d be posted in the meme sub

    • Nailbar
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      1110 months ago

      Are you writing this from a hospital bed?

    • minkshaman
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      1410 months ago

      QI said the tail is loaded with muscle and is strong enough that it actually counts as a limb.

      So yeah. You’re fucked.

      • Cralder
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        1310 months ago

        That’s a pretty small kangaroo too right? I am not very familiar with kangaroos but I always imagined them to be a bit bigger than that one.

        • itsYaBoyNoodles
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          810 months ago

          Yeah that one’s definitely on the smaller side compared to some of the boomers (named after the noise they make) I’ve come across. We get an array of sizes depending on the type of roo. Grey roos like the one in this video tend to be smaller than the red cunts and generally won’t play footy with your thinking meat unless you’re acting cheeky. The red Boomers straight up don’t come to fuck spiders though and you’ll probably find yourself in Parliament (nap time) if you piss about.

      • @TeckFire@lemmy.world
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        910 months ago

        The background behind this is very interesting.

        So if you don’t know, Kangaroos are pretty aggressive, but they aren’t total idiots. They will start an encounter by punching or slapping their opponent to size them up. If the strength of the other Roo’s punch is too hard on them, they will rightfully imagine that their kicks will be much more devastating by comparison. In this instance, the Kangaroo with the weaker punch will likely be intimidating into retreating. If neither of them feel that the punches were strong enough, the kicking will commence.

        However, Kangaroos are not particularly suited for punching. Sure, they can, but their body shape isn’t ideal for it, hence the massive legs. Humans, however, are very well suited for punching, and if you’re in decent shape, your punch will undoubtedly be stronger than most any Roo you’ll come across.

        For this video, that punch made the Kangaroo realize something: “Dear god, if his punch was that strong, what the hell is his kick like?!” In reality, if you kick a Kangaroo, you will be showing your weakness, and the game is up. But the Roos don’t know that. As long as you can play their intimidation game, you should be alright, but don’t push your luck.

        It’s a bold move to be sure, but it paid off in this instance.

      • @bennypr0fane@discuss.tchncs.de
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        10 months ago

        I’d say who was even more lucky is the dog. It looks like the roo actually punched him with his hind legs, while keeping him in a stranglehold. In reality, he shouldn’t have survived this, should he?

  • @UnknownQuantity@lemmy.world
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    3010 months ago

    I meet kangaroos a lot on daily basis. One of my dogs was obsessed with chasing them (he still loves to but I have more control over him now). A few times he cornered a roo and I had no chance of calling him off or catching him to drag him away. Some of these guys were over 2 metres tall. Roos are cut AF and their claws are as large as carnivore claws. Trust me, you don’t want a roo to touch you. Anyway, a stick to keep them at sufficient distance to be able to retrieve my dog was all I ever needed, but to be safe I started carrying a knife too; roo meat is very tasty.

  • Che Banana
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    2110 months ago

    on mobile so it’s not clear…in the last panel is he pissing on the kangaroo to assert dominance?

  • Rbon
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    1710 months ago

    This image is reaching comedic levels of jpeg compression.

  • Artyr
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    1010 months ago

    It missing you are dead on step 2

  • Xero
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    410 months ago

    OP is definitely Australian