As awkward teenager at a party :
“hey Mike, go ask Emma if they like me.”
“OK… Hey Emma, do you like Cock?”
- “Nah, not much.”
- “Lool, are you a lesbian then?”
- “No, I just loathe that stupid friend of yours.”
Plot twist: Emma is a Korean language instructor.
Misunderstands, and thinks they’re asking about Coke
Fake: Anon has friends.
Gay: Cock.
“Hey, Cock. What’s your real name?”
“Dick”
“Last name?”
“Andballs”
“We changed it after the war!”
Honestly pretty wholesome by 4chan standards…
Also, what a Freudian slip from Cock’s friend
what a Freudian slip from Cock’s friend
Is it though? They’re middle schoolers/high schoolers, to them the name “dick” only means penis. So, not as much a Freudian slip as a window into the mind of a teenager
I know a guy called Carlin Cox. I thought I was clever saying things like, “Mr. Cunts” “Mr. More than one Cock” etc.
Some dude the other day said, “Carlin! Carglin. Garglin cocks!”
All three of us were doubled over laughing and I was mad at myself for never thinking of it. It was right there!
Nice cock bro
Now I kinda regret my username for fucks sake
Sure ya do CockHorizon. Haven’t seen you since highschool… Still single?
I was called “quarter machine” and kids kepts trying to shove coins down the back of my pants during 6th grade camp after someone pantsed me the first week in.
Supervillain origin story for the ass pennies guy
You think you’re better than me? Oh, you’re not better than me. You handle my ass pennies every day. You pick up my ass pennies for good luck. You throw my ass pennies in fountains and make wishes on them. You give my ass pennies to your little daughter to buy gumballs with. You handle my ass pennies every day. All of you! You ALL handle my ass pennies! Oh, I’ll laugh at you before you can laugh at me. Because your pennies have been in my ass.
“Do you know why they call me Mr Moneypenny?”
I hope you invested that money wisely.
Nick names can be brutal, they are like the bad photos on the internet, once something its there, it always will be there. I got one during high school, nothing unflattering, just didnt like it at all and these days rarely hear it, but sometimes I meet an old friend/classmate and it comes up and hits like a truck every fucking time.
I think kids brains just latch on to things without regard to other people’s feelings or social mores. Sometimes it’s cruel, sometimes it’s just ignorant, but a lot of the times it’s just nonsensical.
In middle and high school people called me Flyin Hawaiian, I’m not Polynesian, nor have I ever lived on an island. I’m just very large for a Korean dude and played football.
I had a friend in highschool who was given the nickname “Boner”. I know his real name but I’ve never used it. I still refer to him as boner now, 15 years later.
How did he get that name? Was there… an incident?
Of course there was, we were immature high schoolers in the early 2000’s. Long story short, he got a boner while smoking weed in a car with 4 dudes.
Same thing happened to me. Except the kids who made the nickname needed someone to beat up everyday too. No minorities for their racist asses to pick on. So they also called me N*****lips while they punched me in the stomach at recess so it wouldn’t show. Wasn’t until highschool this stopped and it took the star football player threatening them to do it. Really fucked up my childhood, I was radioactive because of those kids and all because I existed.
Knew a kid in high school with your “affliction”, but he also looked like he was always smiling.
I remember a teacher drilling him in the chest with his knuckles, telling him to “Stop smiling” as he hit him harder…
I once worked with a guy called Nobby. One day I asked him: “why do people call you Nobby?” His last name is Cockshell. Cockshell > cock > nob > Nobby. Checks out.
I feel like if OP embraced it and was confident enough about it that might not be the worst nickname
My father is nicknamed Shaggy, to this day, in his 70s. Why is his name Shaggy? Well, when he was quite young he kept sucking his finger. Being the little hellions kids were at that age, they stuck his thumb in the ass of a shaggy dog, but he still stuck it back in his mouth.
This joke needs to be about seventy paragraphs longer
Among my waterpolo teammates and some of my friends/classmates who knew them i was called “bird” but in a hungarian accent so it was pretty butchered. We called one of our teammates microwave in hungarian. Stupid nicknames spread fast.
As in mikró, or full on mikrosütő/mikrohullám?
Mikró
