FATHER: Please, please! This is supposed to be a happy occasion! Let’s not bicker and argue about who killed who. We are here today to witness the union of two young people in the joyful bond of the holy wedlock. Unfortunately, one of them, my son Herbert, has just fallen to his death. But I think I’ve not lost a son, so much as… gained a daughter! For, since the tragic death of her father —
RANDOM: He’s not quite dead!
FATHER: Since the near fatal wounding of her father —
RANDOM: He’s getting better!
FATHER: For, since her own father… who, when he seemed about to recover, suddenly felt the icy hand of death upon him, —
[ugh]
RANDOM: Oh, he’s died!
FATHER: And I want his only daughter to look upon me… as her own dad — in a very real, and legally binding sense.