I keep seeing this dow jones over 50,000 meme, but I don’t get where it came from?

And a superbowl victory to boot.

A very boring superbowl victory…

Careful with the bellys. Some cats really like being pet on their bellys, until SUDDENLY THEY DON’T.

“When it comes to petting, it’s best to remember that cats as a species aren’t inherently social or tactile.”

I don’t find that to be true at all. I find each individual cat to be varying levels of social. Some cats will never leave your side. Some cats you see like once a month, despite living with you.

I also find it a bit disturbing that the word he used to describe how he touches his cat is “fondling”. I assure you, you’re the only one fondling your cat.

I got some bad news about tomorrow, kiddo…

I’m counting every single covid death as someone that trump has killed.

He could have implemented proceedures to at least ATTEMPT to save people. I realize that in the begining there weren’t available vaccines, because they hadn’t been invented yet. But we still had the concept of staying 6 feet apart.

Instead of trying to save people, he encouraged a culture that ignored covid’s dangers, and encouraged people to get sick. All because in his mind it meant more democrat voters would die than republican. Just due to how condensed cities are as opposed to farm land.

Yes, I realize Covid was still an issue under Biden. But imagine if the public were united under the belief from day one that covid is real, and science is real.

Nope, Biden walked in day one to a half a country that in their minds believed its all a hoax, and thats on trump.

So, yes. Trump HAS killed a kid. Many kids actually. Of all ages. Infants. Teenagers. All ages. All the way up to elderly. Millions of people, of all ages, are all on him.

Then she’d be Wario’s girl.

licks your forehead

You’re telling me a chicken fried this rice?

I wish it were the expiration date for Earth.

theme from MASH plays, but in Itailian

Get a box. A bunch of boxes. Walk to the first thing you see. Pick it up. Ask yourself two questions.

1. Have I used this in the past 5 years?

2. Will I use it in the next 5 years?

If you answered no, put it in the box.

Now repeat. Over and over and over. With every single item in the house.

When you’re done, take the boxes to goodwill.

Now do this same process every 5 years. And when you’re buying a new thing, ask yourself: "Do I really want this thing in my house, and add to the next roundup?

You may find you buy less things, just because your cleanup every 5 years takes too long.

We need legislation with teeth

He said, while living under a dictatorship.

That’s about the size of things, yes.

Gay men.

I once worked at a very shitty hotel. We’re talking a hookers 'n heroin type hotel. I once had a family in July come to the front desk at 3am complaining that this hotel was NOT suitable for a family to stay at. I simple said “Oh, I fully agree. This place ISN’T made for family vacations. Why ARE you here???”. She didn’t have an answer for that. She was atrempting to use that as reason why she should get a refund. She had no idea how to react to me saying that she WAS in the wrong place, she WAS in danger, and the smart thing to do was leave now for her own families safety.

Well, about a year after that we had a gay leather biker convention that booked 80% of the whole hotel.

While I was checking this one guy in, another guy walked up behind him and asked “Hi, I’m Tom. Are you single to play?” The first guy says “I’m not single, but we’re free to play”. The second guy just said “Great. I’m in room 302. Here’s a keycard. Bring your boyfriend and all your friends.”

Me, being a straight male just had to be amazed at the efficiency. Tom just went from being a stranger to hosting a threesome, potentially an orgy, in 3 sentences.

Not even the germans are THAT efficient! I just stood there thinking "God dammit. Why can’t I be gay? That was SO easy! With women you have to do all this other pesky stuff, like learning their name, going to dinner, finding out who they are as a person…Tom basically just walked up and said “Come get laid”.

I think gay guys give more blowjobs just based on the fact that with a straight couple, only one is giving blowjobs and only sometimes. Gay guys BOTH give blowjobs, and I assume it’s several times a day. Like one just walks into the room, shoves his cock into the others mouth, and says “Oh by the way, my parents are coming to visit this weekend…don’t stop. I can multitask.”

What exactly is he doing?

There’s no term for it, but I assure you, it’s far worse. Instead of calling you a name, they just don’t talk to you. They teach their children you must be avoided. Other men who are married look down upon you, as if you are less than. Women look at you like you’re some kind of creep.

And I’m not even talking in social situations. I’m talking just walking through the grocery store trying to figure out the difference between catsup and ketchup.

RIP your inbox…

They say the average person swallows 3 spiders a year.

I think we’re safe. I think WE don’t swallow any spiders, but she’s swallowed millions. So it skews the curve.