I really don’t want to go into work tomorrow.

  • key@lemmy.keychat.org
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    9 months ago

    Your belly distends and you feel a horrible pain. Congratulations, it’s a boy! Enjoy your two whole weeks of maternity leave. And don’t worry about giving insufficient notice, your employer will just deduct it from your vacation time.

    • henfredemarsOP
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      9 months ago

      Oh god that’s horrific. I love it. Immediate horror and oh god what have I done? Microwave regret available in 30 seconds or less.

  • kryptonianCodeMonkey@lemmy.world
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    9 months ago

    Granted, it’s bereavement leave. 10 full work days. And your company only offers 2 days paid leave for each death and only for immediate family members. My condolences on your losses.

  • Blackout@kbin.run
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    9 months ago

    Granted you broke your dick in half falling in the shower and have to use your vacation time to recover.

  • incogtino@lemmy.zip
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    9 months ago

    Granted, it’s called gardening leave, and in 2 weeks you will be unemployed. Enjoy searching for jobs on your vacation

  • Remy Rose@lemmy.one
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    9 months ago

    Granted. You get your paid two weeks, no strings attached. Your new job as a transmission tower climber has surprisingly decent benefits.