Hey,
I recently lost my furry friend… It was a tough period and I’m still sad, even if time is healing slowly.
It’s the first time I had to deal with such a situation where I have to decide when to go to the vet for the final journey… It was so hard…
Today I can talk about it without getting too emotional. I’ve also written a blog post on my website to express what I was feeling about that.
People are telling me to adopt another one, but to be honest, I don’t feel like I can do it now… Maybe it will come back, I don’t know.
All I can say is that it was one of the hardest thing to endure. We love so much those small little animals… Maybe too much.
And you, how have you dealt with such situation? Did you end up getting another one at some point?
Edit: I spent this morning going through each of your messages individually. Thank you so much for sharing your stories and advice. I’m at a loss for words, except to express my heartfelt THANK YOU for your kindness and support. One phrase from your comments deeply resonated with me: “Grief is the price to pay for love.” How profoundly true that is… I believe our Izumi lived a joyful life, and he brought us joy “every. single. day. of. his. little. life.” Making the decision to end suffering is incredibly difficult, but I believe it’s a part of being a responsible pet owner. In such moments, selflessness, not selfishness, is the choice to do.
Everyone you love leaves a mark on your soul. I know you can’t hug him anymore, but he’ll never really leave you.
I’ve had to make the call about furry family members half a dozen times, and it doesn’t get easier. Thankfully, they gave me so many happy memories. I wouldn’t choose to spare myself the pain by giving up the love.
I wouldn’t worry about finding a new cat. I believe they seek you out when you’re ready.
I wouldn’t worry about finding a new cat. I believe they seek you out when you’re ready.
I guess that’s what’s going to happen, yeah… Thank you for your kind message.
I’m sorry for you loss. Happened to me a couple of years ago. Different illnesses took away both my friends of 16 and 20 years in the span of just 4 months.
At the moment, I feel the need of having a cat around, but to be honest, I prefer not to, for a lot of reasons.
Oh so sorry to read this :(
The house feel so empty without him right now, but I simply cannot resolve to have another cat right now… even it would be nice for my other lonely cat crying almost everyday around the house looking for his friend. But nope… that’s too fresh, that’s too soon, I need to forget a bit and time will help.
You’re right, I guess. Take your time. There’s no hurry.
I wasn’t allowed to adopt a pet when I was growing up, my father and legal guardian didn’t like how “dirty and destructive” they were.
As soon as I graduated 12th grade I moved to another town for uni, finally renting my own apartment. I got into a serious relationship and together we felt our home needed more life; a cat. We visited our local humane society and as soon as we entered one room holding at least 15 cats, we knew who to bring home. Our little Chicky climbed my six foot frame like a tree and stood upon my shoulders as if she were a fanged parrot. We as humans go to these shelters thinking “who will I pick”, but instead she picked us.
A few years later, my relationship ended poorly. I was already prone to mental health issues (yay, genetics) but her infidelity along with the pressures of school and work broke me. I tried to take my own life one day. As I was sitting on the bathroom floor and it welled up inside of me I knew I was ready.
In walks this little creature, nary a care about exam deadlines and romantic security. She must’ve known something was happening as she walked over to me and laid in my lap, just staring at me. She saved me that day. Since then, I’ve developed an emotional bond with this little animal that is stronger than anything I’ve felt before.
About two years ago was when life really started to challenge both feline and myself. During a dental check at the vet, they noticed her bad breath and ran a blood test and UA. It was confirmed that afternoon that she had moderate renal disease. It wasn’t end-stage at the time, but for her only being 7 years old at the time it just dug a little deeper into my heart.
She has doubly beaten her vet’s prognosis of one year, but I’m beginning to see the disease whittle her away. She’s skinnier, sleeps deeper, and doesn’t always come when called now. It’s tough seeing something you love so much slowly fade away.
Before her diagnosis, my fiancee and I had lost our other 13 year old cat to SCC quite suddenly. In a span of one week Teah went from jubilant to lethargic and leaving traces of blood in her food. That was the most difficult thing we’ve ever had to endure. It still hurts today.
Just one year ago as well we had to put our good boy pup to rest for liver failure and a heart murmur. He lived a very long life though, so we’re happy he is able to rest now.
You’re not just losing a pet when they pass. You’re losing structure. Compassion. A friend. It’s never easy, especially when they’re taken too soon. Grief is the price we pay for love, so cry as hard as you loved them and understand they’ll be waiting for you on the other side.
“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.” --C.S. Lewis
Thank you for sharing your story and your comforting words. I’m not the only one, and it’s comforting to see that I was not the only one to feel what I feel. TBH, I discovered a part of myself I didn’t know, I didn’t know I was so sensitive. The phrase “Grief is the price we pay for love, so cry as hard as you loved them and understand they’ll be waiting for you on the other side.”, is what I will remind forever, could print it ! The quote from Lewis is also amazing.
Man I’m sorry to hear that. I’ve been through it several times and it doesn’t get any easier.
I’m not an overly emotional person but the poem the rainbow bridge made me cry and feel better. I’m not religious. I’ve never had faith but I’d like to think if there is a “heaven” they’ll be there with me.
the poem the rainbow bridge made me cry
Well done. Me too!
Adopt when you are ready. You can’t replace what you had but you can provide a home to another animal that needs one. It won’t be the same but different in a good way. I had friends who said it’s just a cat when mine passed but they don’t get, they’re more than just cats.
Yes, they are more than just animals; they are so intertwined with us that they become, to some extent, extensions of ourselves!
When I lost a loved cat in my youth, a friend wanted to help me out and brought a new young one.
I completely broke down and couldn’t handle a new cat.A half decade later a new cat showed up in my life by himself, and after a rough road with moving many times and staying for a year at my ex, he is since some years now happily at my place.
Take your time. What you valued emotionally has the right to be mourned by you
Yes definitely, I don’t really want to have another one right now even if cats are parts of my life since the beginning… weird feeling, but I don’t want to go against it, time will heal.
Feel hugged
This is why I try to make every moment special with them and give them the happiest life possible. It doesn’t make it hurt less, but you can know that you made one souls life as perfect as possible and you loved them with all your heart.
Definitely, yeah. Thank you for your kind comment.
Received a report saying:
please allow the community to vote on dead pet posts.
The community already votes on dead pet posts via upvotes/downvotes. And the results are largely in favor of allowing these posts.
I understand that death is a tough subject for some people. These sort of posts make me tear up too. But our beloved furry friends are not immortal. They all die eventually.
If this community can serve as a place to help people grieve when they lose their pets then I’d say it’s worth making a few people uncomfortable.
Rest in peace, Izumi. You were a beautiful cat that was clearly well loved in life.
Thank you… <3
I’m sorry for your loss. When we had to put our cat to sleep, I thought I would be stoic and strong. As soon as it was final I broke down like a blubbering baby, and kept at that for a solid 20 minutes. I thought that was hard until a couple years later when we had to put our most precious little doggy down. That had me wrecked for weeks on end. I’m still not healed from that loss, and it has been six months. We occasionally talk about getting another dog, but I don’t think either of us will be ready for quite a long time.
Anyways, it does heal, but you’ll never be the same. I’m sorry for your loss.
Thank you for sharing your story and your kind words… I won’t be the same indeed, but I guess that’s part of growing up means…
I feel for you. We have always had a lot of pets (4 cats, 2 dogs atm) and dealing with their end of life stage is heartbreaking every time. Just grieve your loss however you need to.
We always take comfort in knowing how much our departed friends brought to our lives, and, particularly for our rescues, how much love and care we were able to give them. Our relationships with them are a gift.
Take good care and trust that you will know if and when the time is right for another one in your life.
Thank you…
Our relationships with them are a gift.
That’s so true… Izumi impressed me every single day of his life, and I really consider my time with him as a gift.
Thanks for your kind words, much appreciated.
Losing them is just as hard as any loved one. They are always a part of you.
Indeed… it’s especially poignant when flipping through the family album on the TV, noticing he appears in nearly every photo, a constant presence among us.
I was in the same situation last august, also the first time I had to deal with it. All my hugs and condolensces, it totally tore me apart. I have the sister - Pepper - left now (she’s 13), so at least I’m not quite alone, but wow is there a hole in this flat as Chili was always the active one doing all kinds of shenanigans. Missed dearly :'(
Months later, it’s… okay. I am happy about the time I had with Chili, not sad about the loss. It’s a difficult perspective to take at first, but it’s how I want to remembered, so it’s how I shall remember others, too.
Thank you for sharing your story and your kind words.
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Thank you for sharing your touching story. They are not dumb indeed, they are definitely an integral part of the family, and they don’t need to speak to be understood and to give love.
Thanks for your comforting words, I wish your cat many years ahead, my mother’s cat lived almost 19 years.
My heart goes out to you, friend. That heart crushing feeling of loss is the result of having loved hard. You wouldn’t feel it if you didn’t truly love your baby. Everytime I think of my litter mates that were with me from when I rescued them off that farm up until last year when my bb boy passed at 16. Everytime I think of them I tear up but then I smile bc I remember that they, with their unconditional love for me, allowed me to experience the beauty of true love. Love your baby HARD but know that that pain you feel is the most beautiful pain you will ever feel bc what you’re feeling is love. 💗💛
Love your baby HARD but know that that pain you feel is the most beautiful pain you will ever feel bc what you’re feeling is love.
That’s so true… Thank you for your kind and comforting words. On my side, I have the tendency to tear up when I think of him, I guess time will heal, and I will smile very soon… time heal everything…
My heart goes out to you my friend. It’s one of the hardest things to do but being a good owner means making that terrible decision for them. A friend of of mine very aptly said that “adopting a pet is signing up for tragedy” but the time you have is so sweet.
I can tell you, for me, I have had to wait as much as year before I could bring myself to adopt another cat.
being a good owner means making that terrible decision for them.
That is something I had hard time to accept… the moment I took the decision was hard, the last time he say goodbye to his friend, the last time he walk in the house, the last time he comes on the bed to wake us up, the last time… of everything… damn I’m writing this now and I start to see things blurry… I guess the recovery will take time for me.
Anyway, thanks for your kind words, all these messages were so amazing…