"I’ve got just the place for low-cost housing. I have solved this problem. I know where we can build housing for the homeless: golf courses! It’s perfect! Just what we need. Plenty of good land, in nice neighborhoods, land that is currently being wasted on a meaningless, mindless activity engaged in primarily by white, well-to-do male businessmen who use the game to get together to make deals to carve this country up a little finer amongst themselves.
I am getting tired, really getting tired, of these golfing cocksuckers in their green pants, and their yellow pants, and their orange pants, and their precious little hats and their cute little golf carts! It is time to reclaim the golf courses from the wealthy and turn them over to the homeless! Golfing is a arrogant, elitist game which takes up entirely too much room in this country. Too much room’ in this country! It is an arrogant game on its very design alone, just the design of the game speaks of arrogance.
Think of how big a golf course is - the ball is that fucking big! What do these pin-headed pricks need with all that land?! There are over seventeen thousand golf courses in America, they average over one hundred and fifty acres a piece - that’s three million plus acres, four thousand, eight hundred and twenty square miles - you could build two Rhode Islands and a Delaware for the homeless on the land currently being wasted on this meaningless, mindless, arrogant, elitist, racist, there’s another thing; the only blacks you’ll find at country clubs are carrying trays.
And a boring game. A boring game for boring people. You ever watch golf on television? It’s like watching flies fuck! And a mindless game, mindless. Think of the intellect it must take, to draw pleasure from this activity: hitting a ball with a crooked stick and then, walking after it! And then, hitting it again! I say pick it up asshole, you’re lucky you found the fucking thing! Put it in your pocket and go home, you’re a winner! You’ve found it! No chance of that happening. Dork-o in the plaid knickers is going to hit it again and walk some more. Let these rich cocksuckers play miniature golf! Let them fuck with a windmill for an hour and a half or so! See if there’s any real skill among these people.
Now I know there are some people who play golf who don’t consider themselves rich. FUCK 'EM! And shame on them for engaging in an arrogant, elitist passtime."
-George Carlin
I came here to quote George Carlin but you beat me to it 🤣
I’d love to hear his addendum about Trump being a big golfer. And a golf cheat. We really need George Carlin today.
He would love to muse about these times as he did so well, but he abandoned hope for humanity getting it’s head out of its ass decades before he died. Can’t say as I blame him, he was right about our nature. A person is great. People clumping up in groups in groups end in blood, cruelty, and tears on a long enough timeline.
I would take solace in those musings as well though.
Cheating at golf is one of the single dumbest activities I can think of.
We should just have forest golf. Plant crap tons of trees and make golf actually strategic
Disc golf does this. I find it to be the superior golf sport by far.
Like big minigolf, where you have to bounce the ball off objects. Maxi-golf
Macrogolf!
I played golf for the first time recently, it’s not as boring as it looks… basically a fun way to be outside with friends and do something challenging.
The course I played on maintained the local geography and incorporated it into its holes. That made for a gorgeous landscape, and, as an example, one hole required a shot over a forested ravine, both a tricky shot, and a nice way to keep the natural landscape, flora, and fauna as intact as possible.
I confirmed that they only use non-drinkable water for irrigation, and there were no vast spans of grass, only patches that used to be empty land beforehand. That only made the course more challenging.
All in all, what I’m trying to say is that this sport can be done in a way that’s overall fine. Sure, replacing native flora with grass isn’t good but it’s ok if done in small patches and responsibly. Golf has become a symbol of classism but it’s something anyone can enjoy if they have access to it, it isn’t even particularly expensive. It isn’t great but, done morally, isn’t bad either.
And there is a risk in making it a symbol in that way: it makes for a wrong target and a waste of resources. Activists filling up holes makes a point but there’s much more important stuff to do. If you’re an environmentalist or an urbanist, cars and oil companies should be pretty much your only concern; golf courses can be dealt with later.
Golf courses actually see pretty frequent use; anybody who has played a public course on the weekend knows what it’s like to be constantly waiting to take your shot because the group in front of you is still putting, and the group behind is waiting to take their tee shot.
A much bigger waste of resources and land are the sterile suburban yards that barely get used at all.
I do wonder how much fertilizer runoff, herbicide use, etc the average golf course is responsible for
only patches that used to be empty land beforehand
There’s no such thing as empty land, it used to be a complex ecosystem
Screw ball golf, disc golf though solves all it’s problems
-
Can play in almost any environment so no habitat destruction needed. Might have to clear a few trees or brush in dense forest but otherwise mostly keeps forests intact
-
No elitism or arrogance. It’s one of the cheapest sports there is, just requires a couple $15 discs and most courses are free and are part of parks. Not much maintenance is needed on the course.
-
Easier to pick up. Most people can at least throw a disc 10 yards or so after a couple tries. Also more forgiving if drunk or high in that way.
-
More interesting to watch /play. Courses usually have obstacles like trees and the flight path of discs has a lot of lateral movement so if your good/lucky you can weave it through the obstacles.
I love disc golf. I haven’t played in a few years, but I have a stack of discs in my garage tempting me to go to a course.
My brother-in-law is so into it that he has one of those chain things you hit as a goal to practice with in his back yard. He got it as a Christmas present a few years ago and he thinks it’s pretty much the best thing he owns.
-
Fishing is a way more boring sport, but at least it takes up literally 0 land.
Yeah fishing is even more boring but I have nothing against it since it relies on a healthy ecosystem. Golf is basically the opposite in that regard
Golf shouldn’t take up land
The whole point was that the Highlands land was too rough for a pitch
The thing about fishing for me is that it’s about exploring the lake and relaxing. It ain’t called “catching” for a reason.
But I don’t really do catch and release. I eat what I catch (provided it’s a legal size/species of course). I feel like catching fish just to catch them is kinda a dick move.
People don’t go out to the woods and shoot a deer in the leg and walk away. So why should we put a hook in a fish’s lip/throat just for giggles?
Fishing is an old way for introverts to be socially acceptable. Want some time alone with your thoughts? Go fishing. Doesn’t matter if you catch anything.
Destroying the land isn’t really the issue, they choose flat terrain to avoid having to do the work. It’s the irrigation cost of keeping the greens functional in environments the grass isn’t suited for that’s the problem.
I don’t play golf but my neighbor does. Here in Appalachia where I am the golf course isn’t even remotely flat. They actually made a pretty interesting setup hidden behind trees.
I’ve seen golfers that really impressed me with their precision. I would imagine that if you’re good at it, it isn’t even remotely boring.
I grew up with Happy Gilmore being my only VHS tape for awhile though, so I’m sure I’m biased haha.
If it’s your game, do it. The people making these memes probably use computers that draw power created with coal and batteries mined in undeveloped and largely exploited nations. Their moral attempt at trying to make golf the one thing that needs to be focused on is just one of convenience because they don’t specifically like it.
Most of their hobbies are just as damaging if your scope of economics goes out a couple of layers.
Their moral attempt at trying to make golf the one thing that needs to be focused on
I must be missing that attempt. Can you please point it out?
Sorry the sentence didn’t really make sense in hindsight.
Essentially people love to point out other people’s hobbies when they’re damaging the environment but conveniently leave out all of the ways their particular hobbies do the same.
It’s easy to say “insert thing here is bad!” When you don’t partake in it, which is why a community of mostly computer nerds bitches about sports. It’s an easy target since they don’t have a personal stake.
Terrible take almost all golf courses run their irrigation in a closed loop system.
IIRC there’s also an issue of fertilizer runoff (or whatever they use on grass, idk lmao) harming the surrounding ecosystem
Most boring sport to watch
I don’t know, I still find basketball more boring. That’s not to say that golf isn’t boring, but if I only had two channels I bet I’d have it on golf. In the background.
Golf doesn’t have the squeaky shoes. I hate the squeaky shoes.
Not a fan of the proper game but I do enjoy the driving range. I know some people jokingly say ‘just play minigolf’ but that’s missing the ‘punt a tiny thing really fucking far’ part.
I like golf.
It’s super challenging, which I find fun. I like that I can slowly get better at it and watch myself progress but probably never really master it. Plus, it’s a really great way to get outside and do something with some friends or even some strangers.
I hate the elitist, racist, and sexist origins of the game but, like all bad ideas they’re becoming extinct. Sexism and racism have been pretty much eradicated from the sport compared to the time of it’s inception.
I play on courses that are reasonably priced and open to anyone and I have plenty of options. I’m not even remotely wealthy and neither are any of the people I play with. Equipment can be expensive but it doesn’t have to be.
Almost every passtime requires some space and often some level of infrastructure needs to be built and maintained. Think about swimming pools and hockey rinks, not to mention giant stadiums built for only a few professional teams to play in. Hardly anyone is mad about those things, and the list goes on.
I get hating the rich. I get hating something because it’s perceived as something that only rich people do but that’s not really the reality here. Sure, rich people play golf but only about a quarter of courses are private so maybe there are actually way more poors like me playing. What do you think?
They dont hate on icerinks,etc the same way because the two are not comparable in size. Not even close
Yeah, maybe those weren’t the best examples. Perhaps something like Disneyland or six flags would be a more suitable comparison.
I’ll hate on Disneyland and golf thank you very much. Also, for your stadiums example, many are angry about them
Of course. You’re free to hate whatever you like. The point I’m trying to convey is just that golf is as worthy of a pass time as anything else regardless of how much space it takes up or the fact that some of the people who take part in it might be wealthy.
Disc golf > ball golf. Don’t need a perfectly manicured unnatural lawn for disc golf, in fact that makes it a lot less fun.
Coolest course I’ve ever been to is just through a forest in the mountains of southern Oregon. No chain link baskets, just coffee cans on a stick to shoot at. But man what an amazing place to spend the afternoon. A small river (not deep enough to lose your disc), up and then down a smallish hillside, huge trees trees fairly widely spaced. Maybe that kind of course is common in certain areas but all the ones by me are at manicured parks. Fun but not the same.
There are two courses locally that are at least partially baskets in the woods. There is another a bit farther away that is completely in the woods, and uses old tires for the baskets.
None of them have a golf-course style lawn though. At the most, just grass that gets occasionally mowed.
this made me realise rich people started playing golf because they wanted to flex how much land they have
That’s not true, modern golf originated in Scotland where it’s considered a game for everybody and played a lot on public land. The most famous course in the world is closed every Sunday and becomes a public park for the day. The elitism came later, and fuck those guys.
Yeah. Golf just doesn’t make sense 😕.
I fucking hate golf, and golf courses for this reason, HOWEVER they do make a somewhat useful end land use in reclaimed landscapes in urban areas (closed landfills for instance). I don’t get the need for greens etc. the original game started out on some Scottish moorland or glen, with native grasses.
I’m more concerned about how much water they waste. The sprinklers go off on the golf courses here even when it rains.
Golf is actually fun.
It’s not about fun or not
We need a separate planet for these people
