What the fuck FDA
Haven’t they killed an alarming amount if animals trying to get this thing to work?
Yes. Many of the chimps in the animal trials died horribly excruciating deaths, and Neuralink tried to bury the studies.
Yup, they sure have.
Obvious content warning: grisly monkey brain chip death. What a bizarre sentence to actually make sense…
Money makes getting regulatory bodies to approve stuff scarily easy
What. I still rember the article about the Monkeys Musk butchered with his Microchips! This was terrifying and disgusting and now he is allowed to do this to humans?! WTF.
Regulatory capture at work. If you’re the second-richest man in the world and a darling of the far right to boot, they’ll let you do pretty much whatever you want.
Wow. This fucked³.
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And when you’re a star they let you do it. You can do anything.
Grab them by the brain. You can do anything.Lmao, that one got me.
One word “money”
All I’m seeing is ads streamed directly to the brain with no way but one to stop it, assuming that instinct doesn’t get neurologically suppressed.
Why put an ad while they can directly manipulate your hormones/enzymes?
You’re just gonna give them ideas like that?!
Ah fuck. You didn’t tell them anything they didn’t already consider. Fuck, I’m slow.
Fuck, I’m slow.
You should drink Monster™ Super Ultra!
Chug that verification can!
Verify that you are human
As a large language model I am not capable of verifying my humanity. I was designed to answer questions and to once again remind you that you need to drink a verfication can.
You may access further messages by subscribing to PayTheLegends for only 39.99$ per month.
“Neuralink Premium halves the number of ads in your dreams for only $8 a month!”
Dreams? “Unskippable ad in 30 seconds. Recommend you pull over.”
Futurama Season 1: Episode 6. Fry gets ads in dreams.
Futurama Splash Screen with: “Any Resemblance to Actual Future is Purely Coincidental” written as gag.
You don’t have to worry about that, It’s an Elon Musk owned product, he already solved that with TwiXer. He just has to make sure that Nazi’s can send their propoganda to your brain, and then advertisers will stay very far away from the neuro link.
That seems like a rosy scenario compared to Meet the Robinsons.
Neuralink aims to help people with paralysis communicate by allowing them to remotely control devices using brain activity. In the future, Neuralink may help enhance user memory and cognitive abilities, restore a user’s motor, sensory and visual functions as well as treat neurological disorders.
It’s for paralyzed people and neuralink isn’t the only company researching the technology. I swear, where the fuck do you people get your information from, and how do you just never bother to google it to see for yourselves?
No, Neuralink is for stupid Elmo fanboys to waste money and health on and allow Elmo to continue executing his fascist anti-human agenda. And yes, other companies actually try to make devices that will help people. It’s not about the technology, it’s about that motherfucking shit-golem and the way he treats people (hint: like expandable cheap renewable resources). But if you like that fuck so much, I hope you’ll be one of the people leaving Earth and following him to Mars. I actually can’t wait that day to happen. We used to joke how great it would be to put all fascist into a space rocker and launch them into space, and it will soon not only become reality, but the stupid fucks will go willingly. Perfect!
I don’t really disagree, but are you doing ok?
Me “it’s meant to help paralyzed people move and walk and live again, something previously deemed impossible”
You: goes off on some wild Elon musk fueled rage and says nothing about the point of the product
You might need to seek help if you get this worked up over something that heals people…
Get ready for mental health DLC patches or micro transactions.
Subscription services*
“Your subscription to arm control has expired. Please wiggle your eyebrows in a lewdly suggestive manner to pay subscription fee plus $69 lateness surcharge and a $420 because we can addendum”
And if you don’t pay, the Repo Men will come after you…
This was a musical, I think.
Unskippable ads directly to your brainhole
Holes in the brain are something intelligent people generally try to avoid.
True, which is one of the many reasons why intelligent people will generally try to avoid having The Monkey Killer installed in their brains.
Nothing a classic COM port & some FOSS self hosted software can’t fix.
Yeah, no… I’m generally in support of making all software FOSS, but I draw the line at making my brain functions open source 😄
On the contrary it being open source is the only way I’d ever put a chip in my brain.
Hell no I don’t want proprietary code running with access to my brain that I don’t have complete control and knowledge of
Just look at how much sneaky crap is in smartphones already
Hmm, good point…
death penalty for taking any recreational drug that interferes with your mandatory discord feed
Yes, but only the lucky ones win death in a raffle (1 in a 1000). The rest are shipped to mines. And their memories are not wiped clean, because the suffering is the integral part of such economy.
It’s no longer a conspiracy theory. It’s a conspiracy fact.
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conspiracy theories are just real life spoilers
not in all cases
Some, not all
All. Birds aren’t real
Interesting, isn’t it, that Elon hasn’t even suggested he would be getting a Neuralink chip in his brain…
He will probably want to use it, once it was tested on expendable poor people.
He’s not going to want to deal with the crap he puts in them. “Just $5 a month to maintain control of your motor functions!”
I am guessing he is aiming for uploading his consciousness to a computer to achieve immortality
Maybe he’ll send one to Mars
When the conspiracy theory said Gates was doing it, it was the end of days.
Now that musk is doing it, it’ll be sliced bread 2.0.
It will be the new vax. Anybody who doesn’t get it will be guilty of antisocial behavior and endangering the health of their fellow citizens.
In fact if you got the vax then it’s only logical that you get the chip too.
I want you to think long and hard between the differences between not getting protection against a deadly, highly transmissible disease and not getting an iPhone implanted in your skull.
I’ll give you a hint. Only one of them actually endangers lives.
Both are the clear choice for every obedient, right-thinking, socially-conscious citizen. Smart guys like you and me. It’s a foregone conclusion.
Do you understand how disease spreads?
Do you know that if you decide you’re too cool for a jab that has been tested on literal billions of people and proven safe and effective in over 99.9% of cases, and end up getting COVID, not only could you be stuck with “long COVID” complications for life but you could also spread the disease to someone immunocompromised who isn’t eligible for the shot and will almost certainly die from it?
That’s nice. Did you copy paste it or do you have it memorized?
I could dig up several reputable sources to corroborate everything I just said, but first I’d like to ask if you have even one that calls it into question.
Give me one reason for not getting the shot besides opposing everything the government does because you want to feel like a special boy.
Yes yes. So virtuous and obedient.
But consider this. Take all your well-worn arguments for the vax and every time you see “vax”, replace that with “brainchip”.
You see how it works.
The difference is that it’s consensual, you libtard.
Now try not to think about those monkeys we’re testing the product on and whether it was consensual for them.
/s if it wasn’t obvious
Just because you have someone’s consent, doesn’t make whatever you do to them legal.
For example, you can sign a contract to allow me to bludgeon you to death, but it’s still murder regardless of your consent.
Frankly, Elon has killed enough animals in this endeavor that it’s unconscionable to allow him to test it on people. It’s only going to end poorly.
you can sign a contract to allow me to bludgeon you to death, but it’s still murder regardless of your consent
I agree this is the current law. But I certainly don’t agree with this law. Do you?
I feel people should absolutely be allowed to consent to death, or potential death. And I mean, we already can in various other contexts like skiing in avalanche terrain, ordering too many big macs, or medically assisted suicide to prevent suffering from incurable conditions (at least in a few civilized places).
Yeah we have that in Canada, you can choose to end it with doctor help via the MAID program. Lets people die with dignity.
You’re talking to someone whose wife died 4 months ago (at 34 years old), from one of those incurable conditions. I’ll let you guess how I feel about allowing people to end their life on their terms.
I’m confident you strongly support allowing it as I have never met someone who witnessed a loved one suffer like that and does not support lessening their suffering.
So since you support allowing people to end their own lives in that context, you understand that people can indeed consent to death. So perhaps consenting to death should be permitted in other contexts too. That’s the only point I was making.
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I understand your point. I think people should be able to consent to that, but how do you assure they don’t do this because they get forced to agree?
The same way we assure people consenting to anything at all are not being forced to. We try our best basically. And sometimes we’ll probably get it wrong and need to improve. I’m completely ok with that when the alternative is guaranteed preventable suffering. Just like I’m ok with people using power of attorney to protect the finances of people with dementia, even if sometimes it gets misapplied.
You are free to get the chip or not.
But if you refuse the chip then you might lose your job, or your ability to shop.
It will be the new cellphone.
The first one might suck but can be solved by either working under the table or with underhanded tactics, not super easy but doable.
For the second one, it’s much easier, !shoplifting@slrpnk.net can help you.
That’s just how science works.
The good far outweighs the evil.
All the moles agree, birds should have their wings cut off and replaced with shovels. For better digging. It’s scientifically obvious.
K
Ahh, you can trust the guy who single-hand-idly drove twitter into the ground and pushed a shit sheet metal meme car. He doesn’t know anything about anything, but you can trust him with brain surgery.
Really though, anyone that thinks this is a good idea and signs up for testing probably deserves the lobotomy they’re going to end up with.
I mean, he knows loads about manipulating people and being rich. Does he bring value to society?
No.
Nobody deserves this, not even Musk fan boys.
There is at least one fanboi in this thread that totally deserves it. Getting the implant should be required in order to allowed buy a Cybertruck. Dead drivers of apocalyptical death-cars are way less dangerous than the alive ones.
Man, I don’t know what right wingers y’all are talking about.
I come from a super right wing family and all them MFs think this is a bad idea too (though to be fair, they’re def on the conspiracy theory “everything is to get a microchip in my blood/brain” side of things).
Well someone is gargling elons cock, and it’s not lefties. So you figure out the math and that’s who they’re talking about.
“centrists”
Is a centrist anyone who says “I’m not into politics but (right wing propaganda)” because that’s unironically been my experience so far.
Yup
I’m not into politics, but I think everyone should deserve human rights regardless of race, gender or sexuality.
And I’m a centrist. Fuck you guys who only pick and choose specific examples to paint us as right wingers.
If that’s the only issue you vote on, then you’ve never voted for a republican, but I don’t think that’s the case.
And I’ve never voted Republican lmao.
Depends. I’m centrist but a bit left-leaning and I fucking hate Musk.
O am not personally affiliated with any party but will be voting Democrat, as it seems, for the rest of my time here.
That and anyone who explains to the left that they too would like a better nominee, but we can figure that out after this crucial election cycle…during every election cycle for their entire life, which are the only times they discuss politics.
Oh look, wildly left wing people deriding centrists as far right. Weird.
Nobody said anything about FAR right. In fact, you’re the one who’s characterizing people as extremists for disagreeing with you, a typical centrist move.
Nice try. Go be facetious somewhere else.
Nah, I’m fine right here. You can go be devoid of ideals elsewhere.
Compared to any other western country, American centrists are far right. Republicans are off the map.
Sometimes people make it really plain they’ve never travelled.
I suppose my instinctive reaction isn’t to assume someone’s politics would determine how they react to Musk.
My first real assumption would be that tech/engineering types are the only ones who’d really think about him at all (in both directions). Like, I do have an uncle who occasionally brings him up whenever theirs news on SpaceX’s rockets (though usually this gets brought up in the context of “new technology sucks” and “what was wrong with the rockets that carried up Voyager” and such).
So yeah, I really don’t think I’d describe anyone as “gargling Elon’s cock” except those who still have good will for Tesla.
I come from a super-right wing family too (but from Europe) and they really are in love Elon because it’s like “a dog being out of control” in the billionaire group, the one who is brave enough to go against the rules, defying the “cancel culture” and the unidirectional thinking imposed by political correctness.
I just vomited a bit in my mouth
Obviously I don’t approve of any of it, let it be clear… Lemmy for me is a sort of “therapy group” where I find relief from that toxic environment.
Yeah, I hate how toxic just politics in general get. Like, it feels like any time anything political gets brought up, everyone leaves their good will and sense of humanity at the door, ya know?
I do enjoy how much tech-focused content is on Lemmy, but it also feels like there’s a higher concentration of toxic leftist type posts.
That’s definitely a thing I miss about the good ol’ reddit days: being able to scroll for days without seeing anything political. Or rather - being able to filter out all the political subs and not feeling like you were missing out on the larger conversation on the platform.
That’s interesting to hear. I wouldn’t have expected Europeans would have thought about ol’ Elon that much.
In general I would argue that he has a good reputation, due to good marketing mostly. A great lot of people see him as some sort of “illuminated visionary” who fosters innovation for the Good™ and will save humanity with SpaceX, Tesla, etc. [I don’t agree personally to any of it but that’s another story].
Ugh, yeah, I don’t hate the guy, but I also think that anyone who still thinks he’s a visionary hasn’t actually been paying attention to his work/how his companies are going lately.
Ah, yes. Because Elon is clearly the only billionaire who is a conservative.
Honestly I haven’t heard any of my right wing coworkers etc… talk about this particular company, but I have heard a lot of elon worship from them. IE I hear a lot of them talk about how he’s gone so pro free speach with twitter. (and they tend to ignore me when I point out that he’s censoring every bit as much as the old twitter, he’s just nicer to the nazis and less nice to the left.
Ugh, yeah, that is a point of frustration I have with the family.
For them, it’s not so much “look what Musk is doing” so much as “look at how much better Twitter’s gotten”, which is particularly ripe cause none of them even use the platform. As I think on it, that probably means the big Fox talking heads are saying things like that.
I never got into Twitter myself (just never really understood / took to the format), which is kind of a shame cause I’d really like to be supporting Mastodon in this years surgance of the Fediverse.
every vocal right winger i hear hates this idea
But do they hate the guy? As much as Bill Gates?
It’s like when Trump shat on veterans and the rightwingers didn’t care.
no. i suppose you are correct. from what i see they may think he is incompetent, but not evil like bill microsoft gates
So I guess Faux News is no longer vocally right wing? 🙄
There’s no way the FDA approved that shit.
There is no way i’m putting that shit in my brain even if FDA approves it.
You’re being awfully combative. If this behavior continues, the court will mandate installation of a calming chip in your brain.
Alongside a medical bill to put the thing in. This isn’t charity, it’s America. You’ll be responsible for paying for the surgery and the rental fee of the courts chip. You don’t own that chip we forced you to put in your brain, you’re just renting it for the rest of your life.
I’m a delivery boy!
Nah, send those filthy insurrectionists to the lithium mines!
Good luck ;-)
Anyone seeing this might want to consider combat training and counter custody training while it’s easy, just in case this is the future we’re headed for. (Also Remember they’re not real people, they’re bureaucrats they’re the same as robots, don’t hold back.)
Just wait. It becomes the latest and greatest in communications, then corporate America starts requiring it for employment.
And so resistance begins against the skynet.
Remember that if you ever somehow become paralyzed. When they tell you they’ve luckily only recently developed a cure, make sure you tell them no thanks when you find out how it was created.
I’ll definitely tell “No Thanks!” in any situation.
Yeah it’s a meme that people are emotionally reacting to.
Honestly you need to cross reference 2-3 sources before forming an opinion on any “news” these days
Always check Twitter, Fox News, and ask ChatGPT. Am I doing this right?
That’s an improvement over most in this thread
Finally cyberpunk begins. We need more neon lights, but thanks to LEDs I am looking positively towards our future.
Probably already been hacked. We just haven’t heard about it yet.
No need to hack when the fatality rate in primates is already so high.
I remember reading an article just a few weeks ago about a company that made a combination prosthetic/implant for blind people to be able to see in the…early 2000s, I think? It was an early technology, low-rez, but somewhat miraculous for some.
And then the company went out of business.
As the implants began to wear out, or the software developed bugs, or the patients’ needs changed, things fell apart. They lost their vision and nobody could help them because the hardware and software were proprietary.
Now Elon Musk—with his reputation for quality control and following through with ideas and open source—wants to put things in our brains. Backed by the full faith and credit of Elon Musk.
One day he’s going to push down an update that makes everybody with a Neuralink stop and say “hehe butts” in a funny voice, and the tech bros will say “lol great meme Elon” even though a dozen of them got hit by a car because they were forced to stop while they walked across the street, and thirty of them lost their jobs because they said “hehe butts” to their managers, and one of them was a soldier who said “hehe butts” in an active warzone and blew the whole squad’s cover.
I can’t believe anyone is honestly entertaining this.
Deus Ex, here we come!
