• Flying Squid@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Smart kid and polite kid. My daughter’s 13 and it’s hard to get her to say thank you to a human!

    • RedWeasel@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      I think I had a hard time as a kid/teen with saying thanks and then sometime in my late teens/early 20s, after I wasn’t getting reminded all the time, it was like some switch was flipped.

      • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        I don’t think she does it when she’s selfish, she just never thinks about it. Part of her social anxiety, probably. I don’t mind reminding her, but it does irritate me a bit even though I know it’s probably not something she’s able to help right now. Parenting is a minefield of emotions.

        • RedWeasel@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          For me it wasn’t that I was selfish or anything. I just didn’t think about it and therefore didn’t remember. She will probably have a light switch moment sometime in the future. We all grow and evolve afterall. Even autistics.

          Edit: was => wasn’t

        • bleistift2@feddit.de
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          1 year ago

          As a non-parent I always wonder what’s the point. If the kid doesn’t feel thankful, making them say the words isn’t going to make a difference. And if the kid does feel thankful but forgets saying the words over their glee, isn’t seeing a happy kid thanks enough?

            • RedWeasel@lemmy.world
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              1 year ago

              Based on my childhood I would not suggest that you worry too deeply about it. Instruct her, but don’t make it a big deal. Like “don’t forget to say ty” vs “what do you say”. One comes off harsher and while autistics can be dense on somethings, not everything. Anxiety can be reinforced by having to much pressure on people in general. Autistics often need more time to adjust and adapt.

              If you are a polite person she will learn by your example afterall.

            • rosymind@leminal.space
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              1 year ago

              I suspect my husband is autistic. He’s in his late 30’s and I’ve finally got him to understand why saying “please” and “thank you” is important, even if he isn’t feeling like saying it at the time. Sometimes he still doesn’t, but he does say it when he remembers to (unless he’s focused on something else in which case it’s “yes” “no” or silence if I ask if he would like something from the kitchen)

              I think it’s helped with his work relationships as well.

              I think you’re doing the right thing

              • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
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                1 year ago

                Thanks. I think as long as I just remind her and don’t push her, she’ll hopefully get it eventually.

          • rosymind@leminal.space
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            1 year ago

            Consider that kids develop habits in childhood that will carry into adulthood. It benefits the kid to understand the basic rules of politeness. Otherwise, they might wonder why someone else got that promotion, even though they work just as hard. Or why that one co-worker won’t talk to them. Or why that girl/guy they were interested in suddenly isn’t interested in them anymore

            Being polite is a way of signaling that you are willing to follow certain social rules. This is important so that communication can happen. If I follow different rules than you do, it could result in conflict, confusion and misunderstanding

  • kajko@feddit.nu
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    1 year ago

    When someone asks if they can pet our dog, we always say it’s up to her. Sure she cannot speak, but always has little body language and many times she’s just not interested or looks uncomfortable or impatient to keep walking.

    • 0x4E4FOP
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      1 year ago

      Yeah, I do the same… unless they’re all over me, which they usually are 😂, especially dogs 😂.

    • 0x4E4FOP
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      1 year ago

      Ummm… I don’t think the text reads that the kids mom was laughing… or did I miss something 🤔.

      • Wugmeister@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        1 year ago

        I was assuming that that was how the mom would react, since when I’ve done things like this as a kid my mom would burst out laughing, and when I’ve met other little cuties who did stuff like that their moms would laugh.

        • 0x4E4FOP
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          1 year ago

          Oh… well, I might giggle a bit, if it was my kid (since “society’s norm” is not that), but it would actually get me thinking, my kid is probably right.