Source this screenshot is of: https://old.reddit.com/r/litrpg/comments/1qqwmwu/im_finally_launching/
I don’t understand what they were thinking
“The Staff: A Different Kind of RPG”, and the picture is a naked minotaur looking down at a topless buff dude.
You might as well have called it “The Really Big Dick: This Aint For Kids” and had the minotaur’s cock on the dude’s head. That’s the only way it could possibly have been any more suggestive.
That name too, ‘wild rabbit’. I’m mildly informed in zoology, and there is a reasons rabbits are known for a thing.
It implies a furry wrote it. Which only increases the chances our hero will be swallowing an all beef hot dog.
I wonder if this is some viral marketing campaign. Where it was intentionally made sexual to get people talking about “what it looks like”
Either way. I wouldn’t discard that artwork. It’s too good for what it is.
It says LITRPG, not RPG. LITRPG is a story genre.
(Edit: this is meant to be informative, not condescending. I hadn’t heard of that genre until semi recently.)
My takeaway here is that there’s apparently a market out there hungry for Minotaur smut.
There’s a market out there for literally any kind of smut you can think of. It might be a small market, but there will be a market.
Hell there’s even a market for market based smut where craft markets are having anal sex with farmers markets while simultaneously having illicit affairs with stock markets. Everyone needs a little lovin’.
While the flea market watches from the corner.
There’s a market hungry for smut about literary agents who reject manuscripts for Amazon prime printing being pounded up the butt by their own rejected manuscripts. If you can think it, Doctor Chuck Tingle has written it being pounded up the butt. I think that’s rule 34L
Rule 34, basically
And small as it may be, you will get paid better for your minotaur smut than you will for all your non-smut writing combined.
An overwhelming amount of booktok/bookstagram (and their mentally challenged brother, bookbook, close relative of Moon Moon) is very much in love with e.g. Morning Glory Milking Farm.
WARNING: Look that book up at your own peril. You’ve been warned.
That was… diverting, thank you
From what I heard that book is actually surprisingly tame and wholesome
Compared to some dark romance? Sure. I mean, very, very few things will top the femur scene in
I Will Break You(the trigger warnings specifying “inappropriate use of thigh bone” were NOT joking), so compared, indeed tame.But for your average non-smut reader, there’s a lot of emphasis on… milking.
Though still not as full of smut as e.g. Kiss Of The Basilisk. Which is like, 98% pure porn.
You: ‘apparently’
Me, a furry for the last two decades: haha, yes, apparently, ha ha ha… haaaa…
Look up “ice planet barbarians”. Forgot the author but there are a lot of different kind of barbarians, orcs, demons, etc. That are rough but with a soft spot, protecting the female lead heroically while taking her for themselves.
For every single thing that exists or can be imagined, there is someone who wants to fuck it.
Morning Glory Milking Farm
Fantasy smut sells! This dude could make fucking millions off this. I would rewrite the whole thing if I were him.
Keep the title, keep the cover art, completely replace the content!
roll a D8, the result determines the outcome of your conversation:
- the minotaur fucks you
- you fuck the minotaur
- the minotaur attacks you
- a trap door opens under you dropping you into a sex dungeon
- the minotaur starts crying (you monster)
- the minotaur proposes
- you trip and accidentally stab the minotaur to death (you monster)
- the minotaur fucks you
I’d play the shit out of that game
That’s literally just the text adventure video game Corruption of Champions (CoCs). The sci-fi version is Trials in Tainted Space (TiTS).
This is fantastic. Thanks for posting the reddit link, which has now been edited further:
EDIT 2: Apparently I also
owe an apology to the small (but vocal) contingent who really wanted this to be minotaur smut.I’m doing my part. Now get typing.Be the change you want to see in the world.
And the linked thread is basically a writing competition that the author is hosting with a $100 prize. The title is “Announcing the 2026 Beefhammer Prize For Excellence in Minotaur Erotica”. Lovely!
It’s cute that he thought “Gay Minotaur Sex” would be a brand new sentence somehow.
My sweet, sweet summer child…
No, no, no. The new sentence is that it does NOT have Minotaur sex
I didn’t even have to search much…
My motto is if a thing has a hole or a pole someone wrote about fucking it. I say “it”, because whatever it is can be an anthropomorphic toaster. Probably called “Hot Toasted Love” or “Butter my Bread”.
Edit:, now I started down a dark rabbit hole… Which is also fucked in a book most likely.
Chuck “Pounded in the butt by my book “Pounded in the butt by my own butt”” Tingle is cheating.
You have to admit the ability to get pounded in the butt by your own butt is pretty remarkably convenient.
That’s Doctor Chuck Tingle, three time Hugo nominee!
Is that Chuck Testa’s pen name?
I like the looks of that Ghost Raptor Seduction.
Any pole is a goal
Oh god, I’m launching! I’m launching!
The drawing is super suggestive, that Minotaur is ripped, face looking down while his chest pump up showing physical dominance while his “enemy” with his height only achieving the bare minimum to cover his massive huge humongous…personality
Also the title is literally called “The Staff”
And come on, why the hero is shirtless with jeans!! That’s hot
Right? As soon as I saw it was called “The Staff” I was like “Come the fuck on.”
Might as well have called it, “The Massive Throbbing Minotaur Meatstick”
Ouch. Seriously, what was he thinking with that cover. Or the artist for that matter. Should have shopped it out to at least one friend and asked “based on the cover, what do you think this is about?”
I mean the name literally has “The Staff” in it!
This seems to be garnering a lot of attention. Maybe he knew exactly what he was doing.
‘oh no, I swear I was always totally innocent, stepbro…’
The Subtitle “A Different Kind of Litrpg” isn’t helping clarify The Staff isn’t an innuendo
Well then judging by the title it’s about a group of coworkers?
Banging a minotaur, right?
Right? Right?
Yeah, they’re having a “white elephant” in the breakroom.
He’s upset because everyone made the wrong assumption, it’s actually a story about a sentient staff that gets revenge for being used as a sounding rod for 30 years.
Revenge? One should be so lucky!
I feel like I want to start minutar smut now
don’t think its gonna sell as good with a different cover. also “A NOVEL NOT ABOUT GAY MINOTAUR SEX?” should be its byline
I kinda see a bat’s face in the thumbnail
Why is the minotaur’s left “leg” purple and engorged?
There are three legs 😏
Why is one nipple bigger than the other? Modern mysteries.
The Štaff
