Alt Text: INTRODUCING A HOT NEW STARTUP!
Logo on wall: MurderKorp™ BROCK SKEEVES, CEO
Brock: OUR BUSINESS MODEL IS SIMPLE: CONNECTING CUSTOMERS WITH ORDINARY PEOPLE WILLING TO MURDER SOMEONE FOR THEM!
AN IPO IS ROLLED OUT
TV business show anchor: SHARES OF MURDERKORP ARE SLAYING TODAY!
IT’S ALL GREEN FOR A COMPANY THAT’S ALWAYS IN THE RED, HA HA!
Chart showing shares of MRDR climbing
SOME EXPRESS CONCERN
Woman: THIS IS COMPLETELY IMMORAL! NOT TO MENTION SOCIOPATHIC!
Brock: TSK TSK. IF YOU TRY TO REGULATE THIS INDUSTRY, YOU’RE GOING TO HURT ORDINARY AMERICANS. WE NEED JOBS, NOT EMPATHY.
BUSINESS LEADERS WELCOME IT INTO THE FOLD
Executive clinking champagne glasses with Brock: WE’VE ALWAYS KILLED PEOPLE INDIRECTLY-- DENYING HEALTHCARE CLAIMS, POLLUTING, GUTTING WORKER SAFETY LAWS–BUT IT’S TIME TO CUT TO THE CHASE!
CHEERS!
CNN will have a detailed analysis on the morality and legality of this business model. Their conclusion will be “it’s complicated”.
