Oh for fuck’s sake, that goddamn profile? Where the hell did you find that piece of shit? I thought I deleted that fuckin’ thing years ago.

Fuck me, that’s embarrassing as hell. Listen, I was goin’ through a rough patch, alright? I was eatin’ my feelings and just wanted someone to share my love of ravioli with.

But hey, at least I was honest about what I wanted, right? Most of those fuckin’ morons on dating sites are full of shit anyway.