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A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away, with literal space aliens, everyone was a pure blooded aryan ubermensch.
And the worst part is that the Gleep Glops are the best part of Star Wars
I want to see more of them, constantly
Gimme the adventures of that Wolfman from the Mos Eisley Cantina or that big green rabbit guy
A THIS IS SPINAL TAP STYLE MOCKUMENTARY FEATURING FIGRIN DAN AND THE MODAL NODES
More random stories about jizz musicians or some shit like that, completely unconnected to larger plots and grand destinies pls. Make the universe feel bigger & more alive! They don’t even all have to be gleep glorps (more are always appreciated though), but having a few dope puppet creatures makes anything better
I’ve actually had a very similar star wars ttrpg campaign idea that’s been on the backburner for a long time now; the party is a mediocre jizz band touring the outer rim who owe a lot of money to the hutts. Hijinks ensue etc
I love it
Some of my favorite SW novels back in the day were the “Tales From Mos Eisley Cantina” and “Tales From Jabba’s Palace” books. Basically every chapter just takes one of the random background characters from those scenes and tells their whole story. Really interesting way to get a lot of back story about characters that never seem to get any other real love.
Also, the story of the rancor trainer is really heartbreaking (seriously). Good stuff.
they won’t make that, they won’t even call it jizz music anymore
Another great tradition lost because of woke!!!
I will never call it Jatz
Its baffling we have had only one alien leading character afaik
cowardly execs and marketing. they think we can’t identify with real shit
I get that make-up and cgi are expensive
But christ almighty, it’s Disney
More money than I can fathom and they won’t even try
It’s even worse than that. The Acolyte has twin human characters both played by the same actress, and there are several scenes where it’s obvious that they use a double facing away from the camera, even for dialogue. They really go out of their way to avoid having the adult twins both in frame, face visible to the camera at any given time. The Parent Trap had this figured out in 1998, but I guess that’s a lost art to Disney!
The two characters somehow look more unique as children than adults
well, the empire wanted to be, what with the nazi and vietnam invasion themes, and I think diversity imperials undermine the narrative purpose.
the republic should probably be on some “more trans drone pilots” equivalent liberalism in decline, not sure when this show is set.
This show is set ~100 years before the prequels. It’s actually really weird, because the Jedi are depicted more or less as a police force, but it’s very ambiguous what kind of jurisdiction they have, or who they are accountable to. I guess they serve the Galactic Republic, but they also have their own agendas? It feels like the writers just didn’t think too hard about the whole thing, which is a shame because Andor fucking nailed depicting the Empire and its bureaucratic functions, and managed to make the whole thing interesting.
Star Wars slop for anyone interested: The central/starting conflict of The Acolyte is a disaster that is implied to be the fault of the Jedi making a visit to investigate a tribe/covenant of non-Jedi force users, that results in the deaths of everyone from said tribe save for two twin children that make it out alive. But the exact cause of the disaster is left a mystery, and the show seems to be barreling towards “this mustache-twirling Sith dude orchestrated it to pin on the Jedi, and also take in one of the kids as an apprentice.” And then there’s a bunch of shenanigans over one of the kids being drawn to the Jedi with the other taken as a Sith apprentice, but then they switch places
It’s a shame, because there’s a lot of interesting stories you could tell about Jedi from the perspective of questioning their institutional legitimacy and authority, but I think this show is just stuck in capitalist realism. Even the “rogue force users” stuff was interesting, we’re shown what is basically a witches covenant but with force magic, that was aligned to neither Jedi nor Sith. But then they were all immediately killed off before we could learn anything more about them
Another funny thing to pick apart from this show,
During the Jedi visit to the tribe, which honestly feels like a liberal depiction of a police raid (ostensibly non-violent, just unwelcome and intrusive), the kids have an argument with each other. This tribe, that is depicted as social outcasts hiding on a remote planet to stay off of the Jedi Order’s radar, somehow raises one twin (Osha) to be a total Jedi bootlicker, while her sister has the complete opposite attitude. I actually burst out laughing when child Osha blurts out “The Jedi are good!” What?? Her entire family and everyone she’s ever known since birth seems, at best, extremely distrustful of the Jedi! We’re given no snippet or anything like she read stories or something about Jedi doing heroic acts or whatever. She just inherently loves the Jedi for some reason, because the writers wanted to do a “one twin is drawn towards the light, the other darkness.” It’s such shitty, lazy writing.
yeah that sounds dumb as hell
liberals probably can’t write a critique of the republic anyway
Also, this show is hilarious for how each and every Jedi is a completely uncharismatic dork. I’m talking completely stiff, painfully uninteresting characterizations. But it’s impossible to tell if the show actually intended that, or if they were going more for “serious, by-the-book guardians of justice” or w/e and just fell flat. I guess that’s the problem with trying to depict warrior monks whose entire dogmatic religion is about not forming emotional attachments, lol.
the aryans were brown
Love how ai exposes people who think art is about artists giving you exactly what you know and want already
People like this think that art is simply remixing previously existing art
fascists can only imagine a mythologized version of the past.
“ai fixed star wars” and the thumbnail is a lady with a ponytail that both goes down her back and over her shoulder, but not in a weird alien on purpose way
When I’m comrade general secretary of the United Earth Soviet Union, I’m going to gulag everyone even remotely connected to the 501st legion.
This is an Osha violation.
The internet: “EVERYONE MAKE WAY FOR THE GAMERGATERS!1! THESE GENIUSES ARE THE STANDING AUTHORITY ON MEDIA QUALITY! LET’S HEAR THEIR INFINITE WISDOM!”
Average gamergater: “Is it an all white cast? If yes, it’s good and if no it’s bad. Just make the bad guys different races if you so insist, and even then make sure they’re totally incompetent!”
By Gamergate’s logic, M Night Shamalan’s The Last Airbender is a cinematic masterpiece.
The AI just combined Rey with Leia and called it a day
My name is A’Day. A’Day Skywalker
Read a fucking book dorks
