“Ahoy 'hoy” like Mr. Burns in the Simpsons?
Or even like Alexander Graham Bell?
The inventor of the graham cracker?
The inventor of Taco Bell
So multitalented! I can see why they called him Alexander the Great.
And Grappa Alexander
TIL, thanks for sharing
This one’s pretty mild: I always answer my phone with “Yellow?”
Nobody has ever noticed or questioned me about it.
When my friends does this I’ll say “I didn’t know you had color ID!!!”
My entire family “Yello”s!
I answer my phone with it all the time and nobody’s ever commented.
I like to take it a step further and “Jello!”
I was thinking to try other fruit, like “strawberry!”, Or “banana!”… With no prompting and no explanation. If anyone asks about it, I’ll deny it and tell them I just said “hello”.
Just trying to spice things up in the most unusual and mundane ways
Is this about my cube?
Reminds me of JD from Heathers.
I answered my work phone with “Morgans Morgue; you kill’em, we chill’em” once. My coworker did not expect that and cracked up.
I’ve used the same line with different slogan a few times, but that’s the one that worked the best.
I’ve used “Joe’s roadside cafe, you kill em, we grill em” before
Morts Mortuary! You stab 'em! We slab 'em!
Mortuary Grill: where yesterday’s grief is today’s beef! Who can I serve you today?
Nice.
Joe’s Meat Market. Nobody beats Joe’s meat.
Also works with “crematorium”
“Marty’s Morgue, you stab em’ we slab em.”
That’s how I’ve always said it. lol
One time my dad and I were sitting in the car while my mom and wife were shopping (fabric store, not our jam). They kept calling us and we kept answering, pretending to be our voicemail messages.
I don’t know how we could keep calm while talking, because we were laughing our asses off in between calls, but it worked!
Amazing. I’ll try this sometime.
Moshi Moshi
Japanese intensifies
Do it in Germany! “Muschi” means “pussy”.
Every time I call one of my higher ups at work he’ll say something dumb like “Dominos pizza how can I help you” or “This is the product owner help line, no we can’t change your due dates”.
I generally get a chuckle out of it.
Last time he called me his therapist.
I sometimes answer with “Come in please” when I know who’s calling. Never stops irritating people lol.
“Catholic freight depot random city” makes callers pause for a second to think about what they just heard.
Oooo I love this one, the dissonance is excellent!
“Republican Bakery”
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One of my dad’s favourites, which I use, as deep as possible “Lunch room, this is Susan”. Works great when it’s a telemarketer from an overseas, outsourced call centre…
Was at the house of a relative of a friend. When the phone rang he asked me to answer it. Suddenly realizing I didn’t know the name of the home owner and lacking anything beyond “hello”, I simply said, “Massachusetts.”
“I’ve been trying to reach you about your car’s extended warranty “
In a non-local language.
This also provides a minimal level of security against robocall scams.
Ahoy-hoy!
Hamish and Andy would be proud.
That’s just ahoy. Ahoy-hoy is Mr Burns.
Good point.
mmmmmmYellow
A classic
Every since I moved to Texas, I started saying “howdy” just to annoy my sister. But I guess the jokes on me, because lately I have been forgetting and she has been saying it.