The best bit is that we can’t even see it lmao

  • 𝕸𝖔𝖘𝖘
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    1 year ago

    Holy jagweed, batman! That shit happens?? Seriously? Ffs people are assholes! Ban! Ban away!

    Odd question… What is hexbear?

    • HornyOnMain@hexbear.netOP
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      1 year ago

      Yeah, iirc in the early days of this site existing transphobes used to stalk this site and try to dox openly trans users but then our mod team basically went extremely hard line on any perceived transphobia with trigger fingers on the banhammer that even the 1919 Cheka would have considered itchy; although a few good faith users were accidentally banned along the way it did solve our transphobia problem and now we’re pretty decidedly a safe space - post federation the most common reason by a long way I’ve seen for new users making an account here is them being queer people who like our militantly anti queerphobia community and moderator’s (on the flipside I joined back when I thought I was a cishet guy, and then I realised along the way that I’m actually a bisexual trans girl)

      • 𝕸𝖔𝖘𝖘
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        1 year ago

        Gotcha. Well, I’m neither, and I still support this stance. No one should be abused this way. I honestly don’t understand why people just can’t be good humans. I mean, how hard is it to just respect other people?

        What is cishet?

        • cis is cisgender, basically they haven’t got a queergender, transgender, or agender identity. (idk if I explained that well please correct me if not)

          Hetero is just being straight.

          cishet is the smushing of those two words together

          • 𝕸𝖔𝖘𝖘
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            1 year ago

            Oh, it’s pronounced sis-het, not si-shet. Ok cool. What does cis stand for? I though it and hetero were the same, until this very moment.

            • forcequit [she/her]@hexbear.net
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              1 year ago

              cis means ‘this side of’, in the context of gender this means they’re comfortable enough with the gender they were assigned at birth.

              trans is ‘that side of’, in the context of gender this means they’re uncomfortable with the gender they were assigned at birth

              • 𝕸𝖔𝖘𝖘
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                1 year ago

                Ok, so what’s the difference between cis and hetero?

                I’m so sorry for the daft questions. I’m learning…

                E: I don’t like the word ‘straight’, since it assumes non-heteros are somehow not straight (IE, untrustworthy or shady). I hate that connotation.

                • forcequit [she/her]@hexbear.net
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                  1 year ago

                  so cis (in this instance) pertains to gender, whereas hetero is with regard to sexuality. cis/trans (what you are) vs homo/hetero (what you’re attracted to)

                  No daft questions! We’re all peers here :)

                  • 𝕸𝖔𝖘𝖘
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                    1 year ago

                    I think I understand… So, a cis person can be attracted to either the same gender (homo) or the opposite gender (hetero) or both genders (bi), but attributes herself/himself to her/his birth-gender… right? Or am I still confused? Haha

                    Is cis and acronym?

                    No daft questions! We’re all peers here :)

                    <3 thank you so much!! I’ve never had a safe place to ask these questions before, so I’ve been (knowingly) going around for at least a decade with these misunderstandings. I really appreciate you and the time you’re putting into helping me understand!

    • cosecantphi [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      1 year ago

      Unfortunately yes. Though it was much more common early in the site’s history way before most lemmies even existed.

      Hexbear is a left unity forum that began as a successor site to r/chapotraphouse after the reddit admins banned it. The short version of why we got banned from reddit is that we outwardly celebrated John Brown’s attempted slave uprising at Harpers Ferry in 1859. We adopted the slogan “kill all slave owners” in honor of his memory. Somehow, the ghouls on the reddit admin team took this to mean a serious incitement to violence. I suppose their sense of linear time was just broken or something. Who can understand the mind of a liberal, after all?

      To this day, the page for r/chapotraphouse says we were banned for “promoting hate”. That’s a massive farce considering we were one of the most absolutely inclusive spaces on reddit. We’d make anyone feel welcome there so long as they weren’t a small business tyrant, a landleech, a racist, a sex pest, a fascist, or queerphobic.

      One of the biggest demographics in the r/chapotraphouse userbase was transgender people, and that has remained the case on Hexbear. So we take transphobia extremely seriously here given how it is currently one of the safest spaces on the entire internet for trans people to hang out without worry of being targeted for harassment.

      r/chapotraphouse’s ban was a very high profile event on reddit when it happened. Previously the admins had chipped away at the sub in an attempt to stop its massive, rapid growth in user count. They removed our ability to ping users, and they quarantined us. At one point they even sacked our entire mod team and installed hand picked replacements. Despite that, we continued to grow. The admins were clearly afraid of the backlash that would come with an outright ban, so they also banned the empty husk of r/the_donald in order to pretend it was a “both sides are too extreme” type decision. That never held water considering r/the_donald was already dead after its userbase had moved to a reddit clone called thedonald.win. It was clear that the kill all slave owners thing was what ended up being the last straw.

      Our subreddit had made a lot of enemies on reddit during the years it was active. So many that once this site started up a couple months after the ban, we experienced nearly daily raids from places like KiwiFarms and the transphobic harassment discords I mentioned. Ultimately we got rid of the downvote button because transphobic users abused it in order to anonymously express disapproval at the existence of trans people. Joke was on them in that they weren’t aware that votes are not necessarily anonymous on lemmy.

      Once the raiders got bored, and once we banned anyone who used the downvote button that way, things became pretty stable for us up until we finally federated. Now we’re just trying to figure out how to balance federation with the maintenance of the same safe space we had built before.

      • 𝕸𝖔𝖘𝖘
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        1 year ago

        Sheesh! I had no idea it was this bad. I’m glad you lot have found (and are able to guard) a safe haven.

        I have mixed feelings about you doxxing the shitforbrains when they downvote. One one hand, privacy is possibly the most important thing to me. On the other hand, screw those mother effers! They don’t deserve to be on Lemmy anyway!

    • Yeah, the majority of people are either indifferent, vaguely supportive, or at worst slightly rude or dismissive of trans people day-to-day. But there’s a vocal minority who straight up will see a person who’s visibly gender non-conforming, have a bunch of propaganda flood into their mind about how trans people are pedophiles or whatever, and just instantly rage. And that vocal minority is more vocal and less of a minority online because it’s pseudo-anonymous and most forums are ran by cis people and therefore don’t take it seriously enough to ban aggressively.

      The insta-rage is more of an issue in person in my experience. Especially if you’re in public with a child. I used to get in fights a lot in school, so I know the “I’m putting conscious willpower into not punching you in the face” look really well. And it’s terrifying to be walking into a store with your kids and see a dude 10 feet from you giving you that look as you walk by. Before I started transitioning, I’d never had anything like that happen, even from people who were regularly in fights. It’s the visible repression of the feeling that makes it look that much more unhinged.

      • 𝕸𝖔𝖘𝖘
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        1 year ago

        I’d imagine it’s a similar face to what I give people who try to intimidate me or my friends. Those who throw the first punch get the most trouble (except for in school). I dare them with the same look they’re using on me haha